TBD on Ning

Just Another Day, (posted there, but want my friends to have the chance to know the truth)

In the weakness of being human, Today is in reality, just another day...However on this day I am feeling my humanity perhaps a little more than I would like to. I came to TBD when it was at the other sight, in all of my ignorance I treated people as I have long fought to be treated, with love, kindness, compassion and care. I also found my way to sharing some of my life and alot of my own struggles with grave health issues and such. When I was taken ill in an even greater way and put on home care and morphine, I was viciously attacked on the front pages of TBD by a small group of fellow human beings. I knew nothing of this until a month or so after I had been weaned off the morphine and was able to once again use my PC.
Then I was able to read all of the vicious lies that had been allowed to be printed not only of me but of my dear sisters and family as well. I admit that in my humanity I was shocked as much of these lies were being posted by my first friend on TBD and I loved her as a sister. Perhaps she has done to me as she claims her own sisters have done to her, for which I have much compassion, being that my sisters are so very good to me. I care about her and for her still and I always will.

Then yesterday I was alerted that I am once again under attack on the front page of Ning on Q&A, Now this is hurtful, if that is the intent, your mission is accomplished, I am human, I feel and bleed as another person would. Being attacked publicly is a hurtful thing to do to any person. To wish someone dead is, again hurtful. To accuse a person that you once befriended a liar and a fake, yes that is hurtful. Three of my friends on Ning separately notified me of this, until this morning I did not even belong to Q&A.

I would like to share that I have come back to TBD and to people that I care about and love, people that I believe care about me. When I was on morphine, TBD members contacted my niece in Vermont and my son in North Carolina. Since I have been able to sit up and get around some again I have been visited by two TBD members in person in my home. One from Calf. and the other from Maine. Still yet this is not enough. I have visited by phone with several TBD members.

Yes this is just another day, a sad one for me, admittedly. I pray that this will be enough for those who cannot find peace within themselves. I pray that they will not ever do this to another TBD member, because it hurts, being human and all. I am thankful that this is not being done to you, or to someone that you love. I will be on this sight until I am too ill or dead and I would like it to be peaceful. I know of not one thing I have ever done that has caused harm or hurt to anyone of you. I wish that you did not feel that your joy in a day was to hurt me either. However there is nothing I can do but to accept that this is who a very small group of you are and for your own reasons I have been chosen as your whipping post. For this I can say I am glad, because so long as it is me, it is not Pru, or any other person who has suffered in this lifetime. God forbid.

So Mark and those who read in this group. Yes today is just another day, and a sad day for me, because then again, strong as I am, I am only human. Thank you for the place to express and so much for guidelines for online communities, blessings, T

Is it that I live that has you troubled,
that Great Spirit has not come for me,
That I wish you peace and love and gentle kindness.

Is it that I live that has you troubled,
That I have security and peace in the will of my Father
who by the way is my creator,

Is it that I live that has you troubled,
that I live with spirit strong
my body yes it troubles me, but I live beyond

That I live, it troubles you and yet I know not why
I offer peace, kindness, trust
you offer yet your lies

That I live it troubles you, and yet you are aware
that fate itself will come to all
whether here or there

Is it that I live that has you troubled
That my life you cannot hide
You know the truth, He cares for me , He walks right by my side

That I live, it troubles you, your peace you cannot find
I am a simple entity
I leave your hate behind.

I wrote these words in poem because it would seem that my life has troubled the hearts of a few fellow human beings. So sad it is to me that human kind cannot enjoy their lives and allow mine to be in the will and hands of Great spirit who gave me life. Your lives do not trouble me, in fact I am blessed to share the sky, earth and waters of this beautiful world with you. I cannot imagine desiring the end to someones life be it human, spiritual or otherwise. Yet I accept our great humanity, in it's weakness', failures and need for growth and change. I have nothing but love for you all, even those who cannot find peace with themselves to allow me space to live and to transition from this life into the next. Blessings to all, those who know me and to those who never will. Amen, I am at peace.

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Comment by Tina on November 29, 2009 at 8:34pm
No Problem Sue, TBD was an independent site that Robin began and ran on her own, with her staff on her own.
When TBD closed, she found a free site NING to try and re establish TBD old into something still free and new. So this is actually TBDNing.....I do not come here but to answer these few Blogs and to check on some people that I have come to treasure as friends, and Yes online friends are a real to me as face to face friends...I value and treat both the same. Thus I on the other hand have never in real life or on line met the like of a few I have met here. However it takes all kinds, I do believe that is true. Makes one appreciate the reality of those who are real life friends on line even more, I think.
Now my very dear friend. You to the top of the page on this site, Select , "MY PAGE", when you see your profile page, then go just below your photo and click on My profile or photo, it is the tiny words on the left just under your own photo...ok, when that page comes up, click on My profile again, it is there again on the left, when this opens scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and it says, "LEAVE THIS SITE" or "LEAVE TBDNing" click it and trust me on this, you will be out of here....
I have found so many wonderful Ning sites Sue, they are wonderful with people from all over the world and people from here also who are actually here for relationships and fun, kindness, love and laughter. Good fair conversations and so so much.
In my opinion Robin W. did a huge favor by finding Ning, she opened the door so that some of us could flourish with the care, fun and love of kind people all over the world...She has my thanks...Hope this helps Sue, Blessings...
Comment by sue on November 29, 2009 at 6:08pm
tina - just found this place and now i see where you found those pics of me - I CAN NOT BELIEVE THEY ARE ON HERE!!!!! i didn't even know i was still on here or that tbd existed again. and i certainly don't know why you are here after last time and what they did to you - thought you were on nung and liked it! why do these 3 site seem to be combined? i can't confront facebook coz i agreed to their rules and missed this sharing of ino in the fine print - and people alway tell me "be careful what you post = it may come back to harm you" how do you quit one of these communitiy things?
Comment by Sedona7 on October 7, 2009 at 3:21pm
how did I miss this blog my beloved friend??? I have no words my heart is full I think you know how I feel...
Comment by Tina on September 10, 2009 at 5:29pm

Comment by Tina on September 10, 2009 at 5:28pm
And truly I amm of you my friend and Sister Raven, There are so very many good people and spirits here on Ning and in on this earth. I know this. I am in a weakend state and when one is ill sometimes the mind becomes effected as well. I have been discouraged from time to time. But with the love and support of all of you here and those close to me in my life, How can I be ANYTHING but utterly blessed and filled with thankfulness? I cannot. Each day is a struggle, some more difficult than others, but do we not all know human struggle to some degree, to some level, I am simply content to live and content to die to human life. What I find more difficult and ask for Great Spirits strength for is to be content while being attacked by those that I do care about and love. See people do not like it that I love them, that I want good and kindness for us all. I must come to my place of peace even when those whom I seek and care for hate me.

I have shared many times I will leave this life learning...and I believe it is true. You did the right thing to follow your heart and spirit in June, Raven, please do not ever question that, so did JaW and then to be visited by Powerwave from Calf. and Maggie, who yes is my friend but we have not connected for several years. She also came. I am richly blessed. My sharing is not meant to be adult whining, it is in part my humanity and in part my genuine sorrow. However a wise spirit knows contentment in all situations...So I am grasping this...I hug you all, I am blessed by each one of you. Dorky, sappy or not, I truly am!
Comment by Golanv on September 10, 2009 at 5:14pm
Thank you Tina, for this beautiful poem. It is amazing to me how inspiration can come from such pain to make it into something of beauty. I am glad you took this opportunity to explain a bit. Since I am the one who called your son when you were so ill, I will be happy to back you up on anything concerning the incident or any problems that still arise. I am sorry I was offline when this was going on. I tried to comment but it was deleted as I answered. I have known you long time now and loved you from the moment I first spoke with you. I know you are genuine human being and so do many others. There is much good advice on this thread and I am listening to it as well. I too have been slammed on the old site for trying to defend you when you were so ill. I still have a copy of the explanation that was posted there if you would like to see it. I have been in trouble before for 'committing truth' but sometimes it is so necessary, as it was in your case. I am glad peeps didn't do this to Pru too, but so sorry it happened to you. Both of you are being held in the Light. Some do not understand the power of this. I 'saw' that Pru would get her liver and pull through. I also 'saw' that you would not be leaving that night in early June when the doctors said you would. You still have too much to do here. Some peeps have trouble wrapping their heads around this so I don't speak of it often, but anyone in the Brigade on the old site saw when I posted my visions about both of you. I really like this quote by Gandhi right above my post. It is good. The truth is still the truth, and I know that you walk, talk, live and breathe it. I never had any doubts about you, my friend. I simply wanted to know more truth so I could speak it to the few who accused you so I picked up the phone and called your son. I am glad I knew where to find him. And I am so grateful that my vision became a reality and I was able to speak with you after the terrible nights you went through. One of happiest moments in my life was when I got to hear your voice afterwards. I have chosen not to respond to the ones who attack for now. Perhaps I was not meant to since I was tied up offline when it happened again. I am proud to call you Friend. I am grateful for your wisdom in my own life and the lives of others. And I thank Great Spirit that you are allowed to continue to speak. Live Well, in body as well as mind and spirit. Know that many of us are so grateful that you are here to share this walk with us. Much Love and Light to you. All Ways ~ Raven
Comment by Tina on September 8, 2009 at 7:52pm

Comment by Tina on September 3, 2009 at 10:35pm
Thank you with heart OzzieOwl, I read it, I get it. Still yet it felt good the day I wrote this to get it out, One thing I rarely do on my own behalf...Blessings and love T
Comment by ozzieowl on September 3, 2009 at 9:26pm
Dear Tina, following is a piece that I am relaying here that is taken from `an Uncommon Dialogue'
which can be found in the series of books called `Conversations with God'
They would wonder how you could have what they cannot find.
And then they would grow jealous. Soon jealousy would turn to rage,
and in their anger they would try to convince you that it is you who does not understand God.

And if they were unsuccessful at tearing you from your joy, they would seek to harm you,
so enormous would be their rage.
And when you told them it does not matter, that even death cannot interrupt your joy,
nor change your truth, they would surely kill you.
Then when they saw the peace with which you accepted death,
they would call you saint, and love you again.
For it is the nature of people to love, then destroy,
then love again that which they value most.

But why? Why do we do that?

All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by one of two emotions - fear or love..
In truth there are only two emotions - only two words in the language of the soul.
These are the opposite ends of the great polarity which I created when I produced the universe,
and your world as you know it today.
These are the two points - the Alpha and the Omega- which allow the system you call
"relativity" to be.
Without these two points without these two ideas about things, no other idea could exist.
Every human thought, and every human action, is based in either love or fear.
There is no other human motivation, and all other ideas are but derivatives of these two.
They are simply different versions - different twists on the same theme.

Think on this deeply and you will see that it is true.
This is what I have called the Sponsoring Thought.
It is either a thought of love or fear.
This is the thought behind the thought - behind the thought.
It is the first thought. It is prime force.
It is the raw energy that drives the engine of human experience..
And here is how human behavior produces repeat experience after repeat experience;
it is why humans love, then destroy, then love again:
always there is the swing from one emotion to the other.
Love sponsors fear sponsors love sponsors fear...
...And the reason is found in the first lie - the lie which you hold as the truth about God -
that God cannot be trusted;
that God's love cannot be depended upon;
that God's acceptance of you is conditional;
that the ultimate outcome is thus in doubt.
For if you cannot depend on God's love to always be there,
on whose love can you depend?
If God retreats and withdraws when you do not perform properly,
will not mere mortals also?
...And so it is that in the moment you pledge your highest love, you greet your greatest fear.
For the first thing you worry about after saying "I love you" is whether you will hear it back.
And if you hear it back, then you begin to immediately worry that the love you have just found,
you will lose. And so all action becomes a reaction - defense against loss - even as you seek
to defend yourself against the loss of God.

Yet if you knew Who You Are - that you are the most magnificent, the most remarkable,
the most splendid being God has ever created - you would never fear.
For who could reject such wondrous magnificence?
Not even God could find fault in such a being. ***

I shall stop here now and hope that anyone who reads this,
understand that the latter part of this is to be read as if God is actually speaking.

Tina, I have no knowledge of whats gone on before we became friends,
and as I have come to know you, so I would guess that there has been a hec of a lot
of mis-interpretation between people here, it happens all the time,
especially on this medium as we cannot actually gauge another person's gestures
or body language as we are not standing right beside them at the time it is happening.
So please don't ever let others `interrupt your joy' as we are all on different levels
of consciousness at any one given moment in time - love to you Tina.
Comment by Tina on September 3, 2009 at 9:13am
Thank you TS, I admit that I do care, I care about my friends TS I really do. I wish some of those who had questions had asked me, when I was able to come back to TBD, old, I sure invited all that had been my friends, because I loved them before and I love them now, I just know a bunch of you so much better now. I am thankful for your friendship I truly am, and sorry for anyone who did not or does not understand what went on...however I have never refused to talk with anyone...So life is grand and thank you so much for putting yourself out there.



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