The New LOL Lounge

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Comment by Aggie on August 27, 2009 at 7:39pm

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Comment by Rita D on August 20, 2009 at 12:52pm

Comment by Aggie on August 15, 2009 at 5:03pm

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!

Comment by Aggie on August 14, 2009 at 7:04pm

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Comment by Rita D on August 9, 2009 at 8:30am

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

Comment by HAVE_A_HEART on August 2, 2009 at 7:15am

While tending to her yard, an elderly lady couldn't help but notice the situation at her neighbors' house. Mr. Smith was in a lawn chair under the oak in the backyard enjoying a beer and a book while Mrs. Smith was in the front yard manning a push lawnmower and obviously completely taxed by the labor. She couldn't let it go. She went to her backyard fence and confronted Mr. Smith - "You should be ashamed of yourself! Back here lounging while your wife kills herself mowing your yard? You ought to be hung!!"

Mr. Smith calmly replied, "I am, that's why when she's done with the lawn she's cooking dinner."

Comment by Aggie on July 30, 2009 at 6:37pm

"OLD" IS WHEN ..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

Comment by jan on July 26, 2009 at 9:23am

Thank you J Lee...you're welcome...its starting slowly, but hopefully as people see it, they will join.

Comment by J Lee S on July 26, 2009 at 9:17am

Great call starting this back up Jan. I was hoping it would come back, I didn't post a whole lot on the old one; but I could ALWAYS count on LOL to give me a good chuckle. Thanks again :-)

Comment by Thomas William Farquhar on July 17, 2009 at 12:51am

Letha, that joke of yours is like Monty Pythons funniest joke ever - it is lethal very, very funny. I like it, any more?

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