The New LOL Lounge

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Comment by jan on April 8, 2010 at 9:32am

Oh, I love it...thanks JilliAnn!

Comment by Lowell Brandon on February 11, 2010 at 1:16pm

Reminds me of my health insurance. I've been paying $32 a month for dental insurance since September 1st, 2009, and haven't used a dime of it. The insurance company is probably wondering why i spending money on dental insurance and not using it. Thnings that make you go, "Hmmmmm....."

Comment by Aggie on February 10, 2010 at 8:25pm

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Comment by Aggie on February 10, 2010 at 8:24pm

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Comment by Aggie on December 15, 2009 at 7:44pm

Capitalism and Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

Comment by reggie on December 7, 2009 at 7:55pm

that was very very good i laughed so hard my stomach ached nice one

Comment by Aggie on December 7, 2009 at 7:11pm

Good one JilliAnn!

Comment by Aggie on November 24, 2009 at 5:18pm

I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday..."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

Comment by Aggie on November 19, 2009 at 9:12am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXkSEcCwU8A

Comment by Aggie on November 18, 2009 at 10:38pm

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