TBD

TBD on Ning

I've been trying to figure out where everyone went after TBD1 and why even those who signed in here don't check in any more.  I know sites like EONS and some others, notably FB, have caught their interest and held it. Why?

 

Can anyone tell me what is better about FB than here?  I know the format here isn't user-friendly like TBD1 but come on! FB doesn't look any more convivial to me. So why did they stay there instead of here?  I just don't get it. Enlighten me.

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I think what everyone misses about the TBD1 format is the alerts system, so that you can see if there's a response right away. I get worn out making the rounds, opening doors, peeking in, circling 'round again, feeling like a night watchman some days, like I'm playing hide and seek on others. I feel so lucky when I hit a conversation or a game that has new responses!

As far as cliques go, I think they are perhaps unavoidable, it's human nature, but if we make an effort to be inclusive when someone arrives, and also try not to be shy about participating in others' conversations, with a big dose of respect, it should run smoothly.

It's been said before, when you arrive at a party, you don't start whining or hollering because other folks are talking in groups; you go up politely and contribute to a conversation, and if you don't fit in there you try to find another one. If you don't find any place to fit in, you might want to go take a hard look in the mirror.
"If you don't find any place to fit in, you might want to go take a hard look in the mirror."

I tried that too Chez but didn't fit in there either :(
It's been said before, when you arrive at a party, you don't start whining or hollering because other folks are talking in groups; you go up politely and contribute to a conversation, and if you don't fit in there you try to find another one. If you don't find any place to fit in, you might want to go take a hard look in the mirror.

But it might bother you if every group you went up to consisted of the same core group of people, who somehow end up taking over the group. Rinse, repeat, ad nauseum.

This seems to be far more prevalent in TBD2 (and My Atlantis, for that matter). It's one thing to sample various communities and, when you find a few that you fit into/are comfortable with, you join in but quite another when you sample communities and find the same people there. This happens enough and, pretty soon, next time there's a party, you aren't going; you'll find a different party.
Hi Ladies!
Chez, I think you are right regarding a welcoming committee. I think that is more important than mods. A committee sounds right because all of our lives change and our available time for TBD goes up and down as those changes occur. If more than one person welcomed a newcomer, I believe it would feel like a more authentic welcome for the person. I also think as we "welcome" someone we need to "listen" to them to and sort of read between their lines. Some are looking for a bit of a welcome and others are looking to just observe. We don't want to have our welcome overwhelm someone or say to them "this is how we do it here".

(((d's girl))) I have missed you!!! Now, I hesitated to throw that hug in there because I don't know chez and didn't know if she was huggable...LOL....but look at my post here. If I were part of the "in crowd" and chez was new..it could appear that I was excluding her in our secret handshake HUG club...LMAO...

I know I am not and you know I am not and I know she knows I am not, but for a newbie that doesn't know anyone "some" might feel left out. Or, pissed if I offered the hug..LOL. Point is there isn't a "right" way. But making the effort to be transparent and friendly is enough.

As far as the drop..I joined TBD in the beginning of the winter. TBD1 closed (I believe) in the end of the winter. #'s on sites like these normally drop during the warmer months. That normal drop and a move was enough to "almost" lose TBD all together. I am glad that some are not willing to let that happen.
Actually, in a way, DG, you have hit on a big part of the problem...at least for me. We all got used to the easy format of TBDv1

Bob, I think you may hit the proverbial nail on the head :-)

We do need to make some "technical" format changes to make this site as easily followed as TBDv1 (I liked that too).
Chez, Do we have a technical group? I am willing to volunteer if you do. I think we simply need some "tweaking" and we also need to maintain our technical integrity at the same time :-)
Janne, that's very generous. As I understand it, we are pretty strictly limited by the Ning format, but do talk to Robin if you have suggestions. She (or perhaps Bull) can fill you in on it. I think if we could have alerts, for instance, they would already be in place. However, Ning is talking about improvements over the next year, and it would be great if she, as group creator, could lobby for the alerts, though it's no guarantee we'd get it.
I have been to all the other places and nothing even comes clost to TBD. Eeons is impossible to navigate, facebood is dull, and myatlantis is a shadow of TBD that I think will fade. what we have now is by no means what TBD1 was but I think it could have been if people would have given it a chance. It seems people have been looking for excuses to jump ship ever since we moved. I have made my choice and will be here until one of us dies.
Thanks, PA, that's how I feel.

Since there are only a few groups I really care about, I guess Q&A is where I should live; even though I'm not good at asking questions, I'm a pretty good hostess. I just want to be able to come in and say hello to my friends and make some inane comments and maybe if I'm lucky meet some new people too. I like playing. I like discussing how we feel about things. Once in a while I don't mind saying something serious.

This is a place, a community, where there are people I like to talk to. I feel safe and happy here most of the time. Sometimes it falls apart, but I think we're all grown up enough to take care of one another. I hope. Right now there are not many of us posting and I think we need that support more than ever. I don't want it to change, but I do want it to be the best it can be.
I'll throw in my two cents, for what it's worth...

I never used alerts, so that’s not an issue with me. I just used to check my groups, the Q&A, and the discussions on the front page.
When I deleted the Mayhem group here, due to lack of activity, the response I received from a number of people was, “I just don’t think to check my groups.” I actually think that is one area that is easier to use here. Click on “my groups” and viola…there they are, showing latest activity, and a brief description of what the group is—I like that.

My biggest issue is the “reply to” feature. It disrupts the flow. I get tired of trying to figure out what’s being said. Maybe I’m just lazy. Or stupid…

I also think that the Forum should be used for discussions, not social check-ins or daily chats—I’d rather use groups for that.
Perhaps we just need to make a conscious effort to check groups instead of wanting everything to be really, really easy??

I also feel adrift sometimes --without direction, without questions regarding the site being answered. I don’t need a daily presence, but a comment once in awhile would be helpful. Particularly now. For example…has enough money been raised to keep this site going? If so, why is the donate button still being shown? If not, how much more do we need? Who is in charge of content? Why do we have soooooooo many groups with so few members or groups with no activity for months on end? Cancel those so that we can browse groups without spending an hour. If the owner of a group isn’t active but content is posted occasionally, assign a new owner??????
If a person chooses, can't their activity be shown on the main page? Same with new discussions? With that said, I am guilty of not going to the front page now. But, maybe if it had a better purpose (??) it would be more useful???

Again, just my thoughts...
It's nice to bump into people I'm familiar with, on any site, as it is in RL. Don't put to much stock in being exclusively on one site, maybe it's from years of changing jobsites, I'm pretty content to go with the flow.
My biggest issue is the “reply to” feature. It disrupts the flow. I get tired of trying to figure out what’s being said. Maybe I’m just lazy. Or stupid…

Neither. The "fault" is that people are sometimes so wrapped up in their reply that they forget that others are not so similarly-focused. So while Poster A may think his replay makes perfect sense because it flows from his thought process, readers D,E, and F can't figure it out becuase there is no context; no frame of reference.

The thing to do, if you want readers to try and make sense of what you write, is quote the applicable part of the post you are responding to.
ohhhh so funny :-)
Thanks for the laugh

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