WEATHERING HEIGHTS

[Mark Joel Lane]

 

Although this past summer was months ago,I felt the incredible weather  I experienced would astonish the readers on this site. One summer day about  three months ago was  one of those hazy hot humid days here on Long Island,NY. The evening was oppressively muggy. I often sleep in another bedroom than my wife as I get up much earlier.A fan is usually sufficient.She has a room air conditioner in the other bedroom. I put my fan on high when I went to bed. I was not aware that the warm air in the bedroom was replaced with the gusty squall of wind produced by my fan. The room was so humid that the rising air contained a great deal of saturated heat. I was sleeping as a towering cumulonimbus cloud formed over my bed, oblivious of its consequences. I awoke to a thunderous BOOM. A bolt of lightning extended from the ceiling to my Uggs house shoes. It started to pour. I woke up drenched from the thunderstorm I had unknowingly created in my bedroom. My blanket, pillow,and bedspread were totally soaked ,as well as the carpet. Fortunately I had an umbrella by my bed and sat under it during the torrential downpour. About ten minutes later, the rain finally began to let up so I could reach and shut off the fan. I quickly changed into a pair of new dry Izod pajamas and somehow managed to fall asleep again..

My wife, who slept peacefully through my bizarre weather, questioned me when I got home from work the next afternoon as to how my bed sheets and pajamas got so wet. She knew it wasn't from my enlarged prostate or some fantastic erotic dream. But she refused to believe it had rained and even hailed in my bedroom. Anyway, the forecast in my bedroom for the next night was  for a 75% chance of heavy thunderstorms, as well as a tornado warning. So I didn't take  any chances . I wore a raincoat and galoshes to bed for the rest of the summer .Now that it's late December, no fan is needed,and if a snowstorm blows through my open window, it's natural snow.