just a laugh, maybe

[codger price]

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.

"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"

"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."

"Wow! Thanks!" says the redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.

So he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."

"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."

"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman.

"Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?"

"Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?"

[metub4]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on the
scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this
building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and
jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck
opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how
really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The
Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't
realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she
said. "He makes his own lunch."

[codger price]

funny and true