TBD on Ning

This wonderful video that Belle054 posted on My Atlantis made me think about the verbal and physical abuse that so many of our brothers and sisters have had to cope with. Most live through it, having to deal with the residual emotional or physical scars; some don't.

Share, if you will, something that has happened to you or someone you know. Then tell us how it was resolved, or not.

Or just say anything you feel on the topic.


Tags: gay bashing, homophobic bullying

Views: 19

Replies to This Discussion

I have been extremely lucky. I was never bullied as a child or as an adult. Or, perhaps, any attempts went unnoticed by me. But not so for many friends.

I've heard too many horror stories to recount. Horrifyingly, some have ended in death, as did an incident in a small town near me last year.

I don't know what the answer is. Certainly vigilance, openness on the part of adults to listen to children, education, awareness...

I think the answer may lie in a few incredibly important lessons that parents can try to teach their children. No matter how my parents may have screwed me up...hahaha...I will always be thankful to them for imbuing me with these two truths:

  1. It is harder, more courageous, to be good than to be bad. This may seem self-evident, but many parents tend to teach goodness in a smarmy, goody-two-shoes framework that will never appeal to youth. My parents taught me that only a true warrior can be good. That goodness equals strength and "badness" equals weakness.
  2. It is better to be different than to be like everyone else. My parents valued individuality and had disdain for the group mentality. Adopting this attitude made it easy to think for myself and to resist peer pressure.

These two simple, early lessons (which were taught more by example than word), allowed me to look at people who hurt others and those who follow the crowd without thought as "poor, pathetic creatures."  That made me a VERY tough target. And also curtailed any impulse I might have to hurt or bully... 

Oh, DD...what I wouldn't have given to stand between you and the world!

Having said that, I know how totally capable you are of kicking some bully ass. I just hate to think of the pain and struggles you went through. I know from our conversations that for you, as for so many people, it's less the physical pain that is devastating than the emotional pain of being ignored, dismissed, denied, even accused of being at fault.

When will humanity learn that we are all the same? When will people recognize that their pain is your pain...that everything they feel, we all feel?

When people tell me, "I feel as though I've known you forever," my traditional response is, "you have." Why don't people find those deep similarities that come from our very genetic makeup?

I love you and pray for the day when no person will go through what you did.   



Some countries are more accepting of homosexuals than others. After reading about your experiences (with sadness), I am thankful for my ethnic heritage. It is harder for those in the closet (fear of disappointing parents more than anything) than those who celebrate their gay-ness. Despite being predominantly Catholic, the Philippines is perhaps one of the most gay friendly places in the world.


My school has quite a few homosexuals and bisexuals in our student population, but none I know of are being ridiculed. I think the Millennial generation is more accepting of differences than any of the previous generations.

Good point, DD. Having always lived in and around major cities, I forget that there are still countless of our brothers and sisters living in rural areas who are feeling alone and too frightened to reveal themselves. And understandably so...

Support systems and programs tend to start in more populated areas. Sadly, it often works out that more bodies=more funding.

And, of course, attitudes are slow to change when there is no significant pressure for change.

I encounter some of this reticence to "come out" in DE where most of the clients of my foundation come from the few urban areas and the resort areas. We have tried to reach those in the more rural areas, but the going is tough.

Thanks for bringing this up.     




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