TBD

TBD on Ning

I ran across this article about a woman in her forties who married a much older man....she loved him dearly, but regrets piled on top of regrets....so I was wondering...when dating, being with someone, marriage, etc....do you put a number to love/dating/marrige ? Is it a deal breaker if they are older/much older ? Thoughts.

Oh here is the article if interested...she had a really rough time and not all relationships would go this route, but it is something to think about ! Yikes !

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2209738/Never-marry-older...

Views: 143

Replies to This Discussion

I'm in a relationship with a guy nine years my junior.  It's awesome, but sometimes he acts waaaay older than me and that's a drag.  Also he has a lot of physical challenges - who would've thought.  But every relationship has its obsticles and most of the time we're just fine.  btw, our actual chronological age has never been an issue. :)

I think if there is actually love your first thought when you see them in the morning isn't, "Oh, what a burden you are". You may think that at times, but it is neither your first, nor your primary reaction. Chronic illness changes a person. Sometimes you have to love them for who they were.

I like what you said about "chronic illness" - Sometimes you have to love them for who they were.  It is amazing to look back at pictures of my husband and see how thin he was when he came home from Vietnam, and for many years after that.

I misquoted in a post earlier.  We will be married 47 years this Oct.  We have 4 grandchildren and expecting our 5th in Jan. 

This is such a great question I am still pondering it. Thank you Wolfdancer.

I have travelled several age roles and roads with men. Seven years plus with someone 13 years my elder. Then almost 20 years with someone a mere 6 years my senior. A mistake of an accidental marriage for a year to someone 13 years older. Then back for 5 years with the man a mere 6 years my senior. Then just over 6 years with someone 13 years younger. And recently I almost lost an important friendship, with potential, because the chap who is just shy of  6 years my junior ( I am 60 - he is pushing 55)   told me I was "too old" for him (even though he has more health problems than I do and he has a hard time keeping UP with me, to make a long story short ).  We are restructuring the paradigm and he has had to give his head a good shake. Time will tell.  It has only been 10 months.

Further to the 10 month gig - we had to have that "you're not Brad Pitt " conversation.  Man, many men have this - what I like to call the "Hugh Hefner" entitlement complex." It's out there in porn - so I'm entitled in perpetuity to younger better whatever", even though the dudes are hardly a great grand prize themselves. 

Peter Pan is an old dude caught in the revolving door of the more is more syndrome  because there is always more, and Wendy has more sense and will bail because no one wants to  be controlled by a naked boxer who shadow punches his way through his love life in terror of commitment. Boring.  A man who ignites a woman's love without the intention of truly loveing her, is a coward.

I would hesitate being with anyone more than seventy five years old right now - because my 60 is very much a 45 to 50 - I am in better shape now than I suspect I've ever been. However I feel the clock ticking. Faster and faster. So now - it is all about quality. Quality of person and the time spent with them - had better add up to FUN, and happiness, and mutual admiration and respect. The rest, I trust, will look after itself. 

Further to the 10 month gig - we had to have that "you're not Brad Pitt " conversation. Man, many men have this - what I like to call the "Hugh Hefner" entitlement complex." It's out there in porn - so I'm entitled in perpetuity to younger better whatever", even though the dudes are hardly a great grand prize themselves.

Dazzling...I hear you on this one...I am hearing CONSTANTLY...how handsome, how awesome, how lucky I am...when in reality..I should be saying this to him, to someone who is barely holding it together at this stage of his life lol ! But some men need to, have to do this I guess ? Though this Adonis thing drives me crazy...I just look when the comments are made and smile....knowingly. And laugh to myself...ya know to save face on his behalf.

bad girl i am.bad.

a realistic bad girl.

LoL! I hear you sista! Goodness - their egos. As to the chap in question - we move (lurch?)  onward towards 12 months on and off and on again - me exercising far more patience than I perhaps should. However I do like him. More than he knows.  He does not see how he is aging, which mystifies me, but perhaps this is a twist to our culture that we all must accept. Perhaps we have been trained without our realizing it to ignore our respective disintegrations in favour of a kind of retro hippie idealism that we will never grow old.  

In the mean time I decided to join okcupid - and that's a bit kicky - my profile says I'm 60 ( which I am ) and it is fascinating to watch who shows up and what they have to say for themselves and about me . 

It is good to be bad! (Realistically speaking!) 

RSS

Badge

Loading…

© 2019   Created by Aggie.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service