TBD on Ning

Do you think your friends, both online and ones in your everyday life, know the "real" you?  Do they see you as you see you?  I think this could be fun.  Let's see where this goes.

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Kooner, I love your answer.  I'm like that, but I've mellowed as I got older, which I think is for the better.  I hate fake people.  I just don't understand the point of being fake.  So much of it on Facebook. 

Phil, you are so right about that.  It never ceases to amaze me what some of the younger generation talks about on Facebook.  There's pictures of people completely intoxicated.  There's conversations, in great detail, about what I'd call their private life.  It's all there for everyone in the world to see.  One of my sons refers to FB as the devil.  Another thing I've noticed recently is people using FB as a source of fund raising.  I like the internet a lot and enjoy all that is available to do on it, but I feel my friends that I personally know, know me best.  My best friend knows me better than I know myself. 

Of course young people got intoxicated before Facebook. Sure they talked about it amongst themselves. But putting it on Facebook is like putting it in the paper. So, I'm considering hiring a teenager for my business in the summer. I check to see if he has a Facebook page and I see a boatload of things out there about him getting drunk and referring to women in a derogatory fashion etc, etc. He's published for the whole world to see what an imbecile he is.

Kooner, I didn't say FB is the devil.  I said, my son calls it that.  I've seen people trying to use what others have put there in custody battles etc.  While I like FB to be able to keep in contact with family from when I was married and all of that.  But like MQM said here, if you are in a position to hire someone and you see some of the things they post it would make you stop and rethnk that decision.  Of course people have always gotten drunk, done dumb stuff and talked about it, now they memorialize it in photos posted all over FB.  Maybe it's just my age showing through, but some of what I see on FB makes me cringe. 

I have been on FB for four years. It is kind of what you make it. I like it for keeping in touch with family and friends.I have made some very nice friends there too. It is just fine if you keep in touch with those you know.I have gone to a few sites that were not so nice.I just don't go there again. Ihave to admit I spend a lot of time there.Sometimes its very interesting and educational too. Its nice for me because I can't sleep some nights and I can always find someone to chat with. Like I said Its what you do with it.

I'm like many of you...a person of few friends. When I was married, my husband had some lifetime friends and was unwilling to make new ones so I became THEIR friends too but they were all still single (with girlfriends/fiancees) and  all they wanted to do was party so he withrdrew from even them but we moved 700 miles away to Tennessee where we knew NO ONE. I made friiends here and there but I  felt limited because if someone called at night (even including someone from one of our families), he was annoyed and he'd say into the air, "AW now who is THAT?" Then he would ROLL his hand as if to say, "Lets wrap it UP."  This went on and on till it was easier NOT to have friends. I started doing things by myself and although I had friends as a kid, I could easily find something to do on my own. Creative, hobby oriented people usually DO! So, I kind of became comfortable with that once again. I DID have some good friends through OUR church but it was that same thing with them too. Even though he was friends with THEIR husbands too, we rarely got together.  THEN we left THAT church. In fact, we left THE CHURCH. (He was Catholic and I went along for the ride, I'm afraid) and got involved in a small Christian church (like 40 people if EVERYONE showed up) and suddenly he was Mr. Everybody's Friend. A WOW, what a guy type. And well, quite frankly, I didnt "click" with anyone there and as there were SO few women to CHOOSE from, I was kind of seen as the "backward" wife of good ole outgoing Steve.   (Please HELP me, I'm GAGGING!!)  We pulled up ties from THERE to move into a small Tennessee town (just down the street LITERALLY from Reba McIntyre) and joined a church there. Well, MY "Mr. Popular" couldnt seem to fit in there and though I DID fit in very well, I was WHISKED away to the car  every Sunday the second after the last note was sung. (Or LEFT there and he DID leave me there once. He came back but STILL!!)  No great friends made there, mostly acquaintances. The thing is, even the people I considered good friends, I dropped the ball. I didnt keep in touch, i didnt make an effort. Even when they wanted me to do things, I would decline because of HIM. Stupid because he wasnt abusive, I wasnt afraid of him, but I guess I was afraid of his annoyance, his impatience, even the way he would mock things I said to them. AS i said, it became EASIER somehow to NOT have friends.  NOW, I have kind of lost my "making friends" skills and really dont know how to go out there and do it. And I realize I DO want friends. There are a lot of old friends from high school floating around but I'm not sure I want to go there. This will sound really strange but 3 of my best friends in the past 4 years have been my ex boyfriends. And I mean, we became better friends AFTER we broke up. I happen to get along with men better than women anyway and well...the 3 of them understood that and were ok with that.  Not that I flaunted it, disrespected THEM at all  or anything but they know about each other and my recent boyfriend was well aware that I talked to my ex (by text) several times a week as HIS girlfriend was aware of the same. We worked in the same profession and for the same clients. (HE was their "live in" caregiver before i was. In fact, I got him the job.) It'd be nice to have some "girl" friends to grow old with though.

I dunno. You'd have to ask them. I will say my female friends tend to roll their eyes a lot at stuff I do and things I say. I'm guessing that is not a good thing, yet they remain friends.

I'm fairly sure that few of my friends(those not online), know the real me. I doubt that those friends online know the real me..they see only the one dimensional me that types in my thoughts. This is not that I'm dishonest or deceptive, but that I believe that knowing me whould involve seeing me in action. Do my actions reflect my spoken words? yes.. the majority of the time they do. I'm not into gratuitiously wounding people's feelings so sometimes I lie or bend the truth. On the whole though, what I project to society is who I am...no mask.  

I hope they see me as I am. I try to be helpful . I enjoy people. I am not  a pushy person. I leave that to the people who enjoy being that way. I love my peace and quiet. I feel that I am a good friend to anyone who has chosen to be my friend.




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