TBD on Ning

Have any of the people you dated "resemble" each other in some way?

I Don't know if this happens to EVERYONE or just me...LOL! When I divorced 4 years ago, I decided I was NOT gonna date someone like my ex husband. He was quiet, introverted, NEVER talked much except to complain, was controlling, didn't like to travel (travel was a PAIN in the arse even to go across TOWN with him) but otherwise I guess he wasn't a bad guy...haha!! I DECIDED I would date the OPPOSITE of that TOTALLY. And I DEFINITELY HAVE!! I have dated a lot I guess but have only had 2 special men in my life (that made it past those tough first 2 dates where I usually find all the red flags!)  and I STILL think of them fondly. They were both very kind, loving, popular, talkative and They knew how to treat a woman. Trouble is, they BOTH had painful childhoods and marriages, "lost" etc, etc. and though it took a year or longer, they both HIT bottom with Bi-polar and alcoholism. SO...I just started dating someone a month ago and OMG....I realized this guy LOOKS like my "FIRST" former boyfriend in the eyes. He is like the other two  in almost every way BUT he had a GOOD childhood. I don't know if he is or isn't Bi-polar YET because frankly, I don't usually see signs of THAT till Christmastime. BILL  drinks socially but he never drinks and drives (the other two did OFTEN). My daughter has actually commented that THIS guy reminds her of Michael and a little like Mark and she thought mark and Michael were very similar when I started dating Mark. Of course, they are ALL exactly the same height and built similar. (5'7" and slightly muscular)


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Nope......don't run. See it through....but keep an eye on the drinking. And stop comparing. Take it from a guy who has been single all my life and dated a lot. There's going to be something about everyone that will remind you of someone....lol. Should be more concerned about how he treats you, what you have in common, what are his interests, if he makes you laugh, how he treats other people, etc. If you like the 'bad boy' type...then you'll always pick those who are similar and may turn out to be heavy drinkers...lol.

Whether they have similar physical characteristics or not doesn't matter.  If he turns out to be another bipolar alcoholic on the other hand ...Run, Forrestt, run!

I think you have to breathe. It is not about who is like whom, or what characteristics are similar. It is about how you chose. Know who you are; what you want; and how willing you are to go for exactly what will please you. My last break up wasn't because either of us were nasty or rude, but because we did not see eye to eye on how to make room for the other. I, for my part, listed off what I needed in a relationship (not in a woman). She walked away saying that she didn't see how it could work, without ever acknowledging any of the needs. It was as amicable as can be expected, but disappointing.

The point here is not to look at what you want in a man; but to look at what you want in and as a relationship. Someone with whom you can have great dates, could be the one to have great dates with. Go with your flow and keep an eye on your breathing.

I definitely am attracted to the same types.   All three of my husbands, and my year long live-in, were all rebels.  They had just a touch of bad boy in them......and they marched to their own drummer.  It made them very interesting.....but hard to hold on to.  

yea,they start out hating me and it goes downhill from there.nah,i guess they're all pretty much different,physically and intemtionally.

Well endowed bow-legged women.

you're a wise man.

It happens occasionally. In fact there have been 3 that I've dated that reminded me of my late husband that I wanted to keep but it didn't happen. I have dated several guys that were too vanilla for me or that we had too few things in common to even keep a conversation going. then there were a few that wanted either a mommy or a nurse...I wasn't interested. I would stick with this guy until and if a red flag goes up. Just because he has similar characteristics as the 2 formers doesn't mean he'll be a clone.

Actually, I really am not at all attracted to the bad boy types at all, though they HAD been in their "youth". In fact, neither of these men have ever said anything mean or raised their voice or been verbally abusive. They even cry at movies or animal stories (like I do) I AM attracted to "class clown" types who talk a lot and are just good hearted souls. And somehow they've ended up "like this" which certainly isn't the WORST thing but long term COULD be a problem. I DO have a firm grasp on what I WILL and WONT put up with and what I want in a relationship. When I broke up BOTH times, I felt bad for myself but felt worse that it was good EXCEPT it could have went "WAY SOUTH"  and gone really bad eventually.




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