The Way It Was.

[uno,dos,3]

Some of the responses to another topic stirred some past memories.

I was a single father of twin boys. Here is what I recall. My lot in life as a single dad was much easier then most of the single moms whom I knew. I had a better job and a better car then most single moms. My ex resented paying child support.....it seems to me like less of a gender issue then it is a payee issue. Almost everywhere I went I was given all sorts of credit for raising my sons. Women were expected to raise their children. Men and women are both parents, but society's expectations were way different for males. Most men I knew would try not to get involved with single moms...I found myself in high demand by women......in fact as women fawned over my (very cute) boys, I soon became aware that the road I had chosen was going to have some rewards I never expected. I literally saw some women's eyes mist over as we talked.......let's just say that women ascribed qualities to me that did not exist.

I'm not saying that single parenthood is easy for either gender, however in my experience, it was easier being a male.

Thoughts?  

[uno,dos,3]

O.K., I waited 15 minutes for a reply while I finished off a quarter pounder with cheese and a large fry..............time to go hiking.........before the arteries clog up.

[dwalt]

Gee, I got o lunch and you go off stomping mad.  I had pizza,do I have to take a hike??  Oh wait, no, I just have to shovel s & s.  (snow and shit)

[crestofwaves]

The snow shoveling will work off the pizza.

Uno,dos,tre,Haven't you heard? 

[crestofwaves]

Seriously, money has a lot to do with it.  You don't have to work two jobs, you can hire proper day care, so yes, I think it might be easier for a man to be a single parent in that respect. But I take my hat off to men who raise their kids.  My husband did!  That's one of the factors that I considered in marrying him because I did NOT want to marry again.

[ProblemAgain]

and even if you had had the SAME job as a single mom, odds are they would have paid her less than you...corporate reality 101..and often women are charged more for the same job done for them or service...and that's why you could have a better car

[ProblemAgain]

[Lifesighs]

I think the ladies went after my dad also, he was shy and wasn't ready to try again after my mother, once was enough for him. I don't know what kind of side relationships he had but he didn't bring them home to meet us kids. I think it was easier for him because he kind of expected us to raise ourselves mostly, he supplied the food and drove us around to events but not a lot of other care type things were going on. I was eight when he taught me to use the washer although we still had to hang the clothes on the line. He posted a chore sheet each week for us for washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom taking out the trash. If we wanted ironed clothes we learned to do it for ourselves. He did hire a housekeeper during the summer months because we were so young to stay home alone all day long. She cooked and was basically a babysitter. In winter months my dad cooked dinner, some were great and others pretty awful, he said if we get hungry enough we'll eat it. He did make us take baths at least twice per week.