social sites and how they've changed ..

[frenchy]

ok i don't know how long all of you have been here but i know some of you for more than a few years .. but not all .. this is just one of those musings you have .. a fleetin thought .. when the first social sites came upon the scene i think most people mistook them for datin sites and don't get me wrong i do believe that you can meet someone this way .. just ask dell .. not only did he meet the love of his life thru a social site he also wrote a book about it .. but after awhile it became clear that these were just cyber hangouts where you could exchange ideas and maybe there were a few hookups here and there .. but that wasn't the main reason that most of us were here .. but every now and then some newbie would come along and put up their first post and it would go somethin like this ..

hi i'm bob and i'm 5'9'' weigh about 210 and i like women who like car racin and good movies and maybe a beer and some good ole country music .. if i sound like someone you'd like to meet message me and we'll talk .. 

and of course we'd all laugh and jump on the poor bastard right away and set em straight and he'd never come back again unless he had a thick skin and could take a good ribbin .. it was clear he was there for one thing and one thing only .. and thats the reason why i think a lot of sites start out with 500 members and only have 50 that are active .. they all come thinkin they'll hookup and find its not really about that .. don't get me wrong there are women and men to meet .. but you'll only meet them if you become part of the group usually .. i dunno just one of my late nite musings .. if dell wrote his book all over again i wonder what he'd change knowin what he knows now ..  

[Dell]

Actually, almost 6 years after the fact, I am giving serious thought to a volume 2....The last 6 years have been very busy but I don't see much change in dating for Boomers. The social sites have become more prevalent and people are more used to them. The key is the most useful part to a person wanting to date is the ability to meet on line, then get to meet in person. Most of the "Bobs" don't have the patience. 

[lucinda48]

very well said frency.  in my opinion, ya gotta be in it to win it!  so to speak.... 

[frenchy]

well if you are lookin for a date or a mate then i'd agree lucci .. but what i was gettin at was a lot of the original members of say eons and sites like that joined thinkin it was a datin site and while it could be i never really saw it that way .. i always saw it as a social site .. a place for people of both sexes to just chew the fat and interact like you might at some kinda social gatherin only doin it cyberly .. is that a word ?? cyberly ?? sounds like it should be .. what i mean is 10 years ago somethin like this was almost non existant and really had no rules or ettiquette .. and little by little its takin a shape of sorts .. and friendships are formed .. not exactly like in real life .. but there are bonds none the less .. i guess what this is is sorta like pen pals but on steroids or penpals in real time .. which changes the dynamic a bit cause you have to think a bit quicker .. a letter to a penpal could take you all day to write or even a week just jottin down a little at time to form a whole letter .. here its more rapid fire and because its in a post format anyone can chime in with their opinion .. and thats a good thing .. it can get way off topic sometimes but thats also a good thing sometimes too cause in real life you don't stay on one subject all nite long .. you get on a train and start out in one station and keep addin stations along the way .. and where that train will take you is always a wonder when you finally ask gee how the hell did we get to talkin about snow tires in july ?? you got on the train and the conductor never said last stop snow tires in july .. and these posts work much closer to that train of thought kinda thing .. and who shives a git about bob?? we kicked him off the train at the first stop .. 

[blithe spirit]

I think social sites offer the ability to meet and get to know one another, female or male. I also think anytime men and women are in a social setting they are going to being "social." Sometimes that means hooking up but mostly it means just developing relationships with other folks. I've had some interesting experiences for sure....and learned some things about people. For the most part, my life has been enriched...but I am also glad at times there is a screen and some distance from some folks...just saying...smile.

[Marianne Kiendl]

Started out 4 years ago on my first social networking site - Eons. No computer geek me and I had to learn how to navigate, post photos, videos etc. (good for the old brain). As Blithe Spirit said, the people I have encountered have enriched my life, people I would never have met otherwise, smart, interesting folks whose way of life is completely different to mine.  There is a small group of people that have become especially close to me through Eons and facebook and last week I had the opportunity to meet one of them in real life.  She lives in Scotland and we travelled to Edinburgh for Christmas.  I felt so comfortable with her because we were old friends online through the years.

[Lifesighs]

I joined eons only because I was caregiver for my mother and felt overwhelmed with my life at that time, being online and having fun with the jokes was a great way for me to escape. Since I was/am married I never gave it a thought about being a place to meet a mate.

Now I'm addicted to the activity and have gotten to know so many nice people I feel they are true friends. Pathetic isn't it?

I like the interaction and can come and go as I like and don't have to dress up to meet you folks. I'm in my PJ's at this very moment. After eons went down I'm very scattered with places to stay in touch.

[frenchy]

well i gotta admit there have been times i've jumped on the computer for a few seconds here and there and i didn't dress up for it either lifey ..not tryin to get some kinda mental image for all the ladies out there or anything .. but if all i have on is a t shirt and some undergoshes so what ?? its not like i'm on the tonite show or david letterman or somethin .. and thats somethin i never even thought of when i started this post .. the comfort level of just jumpin on or off the computer at any time you have a few minutes and then go back to whatever it is you were doin ..you don't have to primp and put on a tux or anything .. or go thru a whole routine to prepare for it .. just bring your common sense and an idea or two you wanna share ..   

[AmerikinWmn]

I came late to the dance at EONS but did manage to be there a year or two and met some nice people. Since I'm married, going to social sites to meet potential dates was never an intention of mine, but meeting others with interests like mine was. Back then it seemed chat rooms were most common and many of them were more about hook ups than anything else. I'm glad things have evolved as they have and if those Bobs & Bettys are still hookin up, good for them, I guess.

[frenchy]

yeah a.w.  i agree nothin wrong with bob and betty hookin up .. i wasn't tryin to say that was a problem .. i was just sayin that thats not the only reason people come here . and the whole idea of a social site on the computer has evolved .. none of this was here 10 years ago .. or even 6 or 7 years ago ..and in some small way we are all pioneers of our times .. and now with all the cell phones and tablets and gadgets and stuff who knows what this will morph into .. now they have twitter where you can't say more than gee i dunno 147 characters .. or maybe its less .. that don't leave much for anything all that deep .. 

[AmerikinWmn]

oops, that reply was supposed to go here...

[AmerikinWmn]

you are right, things are evolving into really shallow 'friendships'. I mean, really. My cousin, who happened to be in a garage band that made it big locally back in the day, was just today bragging about hitting 5000 'friends' on facebook. Seriously!? From the way he spoke, I think that's maxed out. And they must be really close and personal friends, lol.

[frenchy]

is your cousin still playin in that band a.w. ?? if so then that might help him get fans to his gigs if he puts up the info on where he'll be and when .. otherwise i often wonder too about the people who collect friends .. i guess it gives them some sense of security .. just me personally that kinda makes me a little uncomfortable to have so many friends that i don't know em all and wouldn't know em if i tripped over em .. most of the people on my friends list are people i do engage with .. maybe not everyday .. but i do from time to time .. and i don't do all that much on bookface .. thats just to keep in touch with the ones i can't find any other way .. its like i get lost everytime i get on that site and have to find my way out again ..