Marriage

[Wayne Goodwin]

Why do people get married ?

Is it just the way we are brought up to do the deed ?

Maybe in this day and time , living with the one you love would be better in the long run .

What's best for you and why ?

[dwalt]

If I had or was going to have school age children I  would want to be married.  Now that mine are grown....I am NOT getting marriedd again....Unless he was 99 years old and filthy rich. (joking)

[Lifesighs]

Most get married to form a family unit and go thru life together with a partner who will always be there and support them during the bad times and the good times.

I wish it happened like that in reality but we all know that doesn't happen as often as it should.

I am happily married now and see no reason to change that. If I were single I wouldn't look for marriage because so many of them fail and aren't ideal.

[ProblemAgain]

Lawyers: Gay marriage a detriment to children

By KRISTI EATON 15 hours ago

cover-video
" data-id="1f38ce31-6772-3ff3-97ec-eb368de4e3f2">

.

New appeal filed to fight ruling to overturn gay marriage ban

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — Lawyers who are appealing a federal judge's ruling that overturned Oklahoma's ban on same-sex marriage said in a court filing Monday that legalizing gay marriage would harm children, undermine society and make traditional marriages unstable.

Related Stories

• Mormon church to weigh in on gay marriage ban Associated Press
• Couples sue to force Ohio's hand on gay marriage Associated Press
• Idaho couples ask judge to rule on gay marriage Associated Press
• Va.: Ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional Associated Press
• Va. judge: Same-sex marriage unconstitutional Associated Press

The Alliance Defending Freedom cited courts and anthropologists, saying children are better off in a home with a mother and a father. It said traditional couples would be less likely to marry, or stay together, if marriage became a genderless institution not focused on procreation.

U.S. District Judge Terence Kern ruled last month against Tulsa County Court Clerk Sally Howe Smith, whose office refused to grant a marriage license to two women who wanted to marry. Monday's appeal is the first step in the process ahead of an April 17 hearing before the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver.

In its court filing Monday, Alliance said marriages should be about children, not adults.

"Marriage encourages mothers and fathers to remain together and care for the children born of their union," the group's 93-page filing said. Severing the link, it said, "would powerfully convey that marriage exists to advance adult desires rather than serving children's needs."

Citing a court opinion from 1888 — 19 years before Oklahoma's statehood — Alliance said marriage "is the foundation of the family and of society, without which there would be neither civilization nor progress," and cited a 1978 ruling that said traditional marriage was "fundamental to the very existence and survival of the (human) race."

Sharon Baldwin and Mary Bishop, who had applied for the marriage license, issued a statement Monday night saying Alliance's brief relies "on outdated and debunked science as far as saying that children need both a mother and a father."

"(W)e believe they're wrong that marriage is only about children. While many couples who wish to marry, both heterosexual and homosexual, want children, many others are infertile, are elderly or simply do not want children," they said.

In his ruling, Kern said Oklahoma, by enforcing the ban, violates the U.S. Constitution's Equal Protection Clause because it precludes same-sex couples from receiving an Oklahoma marriage license.

"Exclusion of just one class of citizens from receiving a marriage license based upon the perceived 'threat' they pose to the marital institution is, at bottom, an arbitrary exclusion based upon the majority's disapproval of the defined class," he wrote. "It is also insulting to same-sex couples, who are human beings capable of forming loving, committed, enduring relationships."

Oklahoma's Republican governor, attorney general and other elected officials blasted the ruling. Kern immediately stayed the effects of his ruling, anticipating an appeal.

Alliance's brief Monday said that, over time, marriage would lose its distinction as the place where heterosexual couples traditionally have children and instead be regarded as merely an option.

"Without the stability that marriage provides, more man-woman couples would end their relationships before their children are grown ... and more children would be raised outside a stable family unit led by their married mother and father," the group wrote, predicting an increase in the divorce rate.

Byron Babione, senior counsel for Alliance Defending Freedom, said 76 percent of Oklahoma voters expressed what they thought was best for children and society, referring to the amendment vote.

"Marriage expresses the reality that men and women bring distinct, irreplaceable gifts to family life, especially for children who deserve both a mom and a dad," Babione said in a statement Monday night.

Kern's ruling was one of several in the past few months to strike down or void part of such a ban.

A similar appeal out of Utah is being heard by the 10th Circuit. Utah state attorneys filed their opening arguments earlier this month, saying the optimal environment for raising a child is with a mother and father. A federal judge there had ruled in December that the voter-approved ban was unconstitutional. More than 1,000 gay couples got married in Utah before the U.S. Supreme Court granted a stay in the case, halting the marriages during the appeals process. Oral arguments in the Utah case are scheduled for April 10

[ProblemAgain]

sooooooo so their argument is that if we allow gay marriage, more straight couples will divorce or not marry....quick now, tell how the fuck that works?

and if the point is that the validity of marriage os for procreation, then we have to put age stipulations on the marriage licenses cause after a certain age babies aren't aborning from older couples....and if the woman has had a hysterectomy or the man a vasectomy, does that make a marriage unobtainable since they can't reproduce?

[dwalt]

How did this get into a gay marriage debate???

[ProblemAgain]

it is pertinent because the argument against gay marriage is that marriage is for procreation...i always assumed that marriage was for a life partner and if kids came along, that was the bonus (or not, depending on the kid). so the question posed was why do people get married, ergo that is an adjunct to the question

[crestofwaves]

I think it had to do with kids, but at this age, I don't know why I got married. I would probably be living with my husband, but I see no need for marriage.  For the younger people, however, property and estate rights and health care benefits and such--it makes sense.

[blithe spirit]

All different kinds of marriage.. common law marriage...civil marriages...those blessed by a religous entity...same sex marriage...etc.

For me, the only benefit for me or a potential marriage partner could be to award some type of property transfer or insurance benefit that might require a civil marriage.

[ProblemAgain]

at our age, it's those little words whispered in your ear  "marital deduction"...otherwise there is a tax on inheritances..and to be able to make healthcare decisions and even to be able to visit in the event of hospitalization.  i had a mail carrier who was in a long time relationship with her guy. when he had a stroke and was in the hospital, she was barred by his family from seeing him...and since the home was in his name, when he died intestate, the home went to his surviving relative, not her tho she had been there with him for 15 years and they had paid together. some legal aspects have to do with an assumed morality clause. many states no longer recognise common law marriages as valid unless the couple actually put themselves forward as married.  now if you have a partner, and lest anyone think it wouldn't happen to them, things can change and  i do strongly urge you to get the paperwork in order in the event anything happens so that your wishes are stipulated and your partner is protected from greedy or grasping family members. they are all lovely people till it comes to money

[Wayne Goodwin]

Wheni got married  me , her and her mom went to South Carolina .Her mom signed for us to get married because her daughter was 16 . Had to wait 24 hours . We all went back the next day . Marriage lasted 9 years and 11 months . I wouldn't mine getting married again if it wasn't for marriage pentally . 

[carrie cavanaugh]

I married because I loved him and wanted to have a family.  25 years later and 5 kids we divorced.  I did re-marry, he asked, but still having a daughter living at home I didn't want to move into his house unless I had a commitment.   For some reason it bothered to move into my'"boyfriends" house.  I've seen a few friends do it and not have it work out and uproot the kids again.  I did not want to be one of those parents. 

[crestofwaves]

I also would have felt funny to move in with a boyfriend while my kids were still around.  And when we were courting and my now husband slept over on the weekends, he slept in the TV room.

The nicest thing he did at that time was to ask my son for my hand in marriage.  It showed a lot of respect for him.