Going Gray....Dramatic, or No Big Deal?

[blithe spirit]

For those who have thought about it and those who have and those who have said no way, never.
What are your thoughts about gray hair....different for men? different for women?

My hair went gray in my early 40's after a bout with cancer and chemotherapy and I have been coloring it ever since. I am now 60 and I'm tired of the salon bills and doing it myself...and not to mention the condition of my hair...the constant coloring it requires to cover the gray is rough on the hair. So I have missed three coloring appointments now. My hair was about shoulder length and I have cut it to about the chin...and then had the lightest streaks I could put in to kind of blend in with the gray so it doesn't look like a skunk stripe.

Most of my friends that live around here are much younger than me so they can't really relate to this decision I have made. I think for a woman of a certain age it could be a bit of a life change..not so much how I feel about myself, but how others perceive me, particularly men I think.

I know in another group I was in with many of you in the past...someone said something about how women of a certain age sort of disappear somehow on the radar and hair color is part of that.

Just opening this up for discussion...what do you think?

[frenchy]

actually if you look at the pic i have a beard but its not a long one .. probably only had it for a couple of weeks or so .. but look close .. its white .. and the pic isn't from last week .. a little over a year ago .. i guess i'll have to take some new pics .. my hair is shorter now .. but still not short . us old hipies never die .. we just fade away .. how does that go again ?? better to burn out , than to fade away .. there's more to the picture , than meets the eye .. hey hey my my .. 

[Mickchick]

Yeah, my late husband used to say I looked like a giant cotton swab when I let my hair grow natural (at HIS urging, no less!) and no, I didn't kill him when he said it, lol!

[Lucinda Stone]

i've been "on the bottle" since i was about 15!!  first doing that spray on "sun-in" or whatever it was to give the highlights.. then just kept up staying blonde since then...did it myself, have ranged all the shades, was totally bleached-out for a while--with a perm too! looking back--holey moley!  now i have it done professionally every 5-6 weeks.. just touching up the roots on the top, my hairdresser is amazed at my hair, all that's it's been thru and still good... anyhow, been this blonde shade now for several years

would i go 'au naturel' ?  probably not.. my mother's hair is pure white, my father never had a gray hair that i remember, mine is a mix of both white/gray in some spots, still dark in others, so that wouldn't look so great...

i agree, there is a double standard about hair color... guys look weird when they color, as do some ladies if they keep up the really dark hair at a later age... some look fine either way...

bottom line, it's all about how you feel, and you really shouldn't judge a person by their hair color(unless it's seriously ridiculous!)

[frenchy]

yeah i agree cindy .. there are exceptions to colorin your hair .. like when you see a woman in her mid 60's dye her hair jet black and she thinks it makes her look like she's in her 40's .. i think it makes her look like a goin outta business hooker cause it looks so phony .. i think the first rule of hair colorin should be to always pick the right color for you .. not black .. never ever ever ever black .. you can do a brown and thats ok and you can do a blonde and thats ok too ..unless you go so blonde it looks ridicules ..dishwater blonde might be better .. common sense should apply and if you have none ask someone you trust how does this color look on me ?? if they have a hard time sayin great with some kinda real enthusiasm its a good bet they don't have the heart to say are you kiddin me ?? you look like worn out old mop ..if you're really not sure go to a store that sells wigs and try on a few different colors .. you'll see one that fits you ..

[ProblemAgain]

[lucinda48]

i frosted my hair for years and years.  i am naturally a dish blonde... light but drab.  so the frosting gave me the brightness i needed around my face.  a few years ago i got tired of all the coloring, etc. and stopped for several months.  BUT what came out was gray and very drab.  not a nice bright silver color at all... and it just totally washes my complexion.  so back i've gone to coloring... it is the best look for me.

[T2Friends]

Since it has grown back, I have left it the natural color.  First time I went to a hairdresser, he loved the color and suggested it was like Judy Denchs hair.  I don't know about that.   One sister loves it, the other wants me to go back to to the bottle....so far I have resisted.  More because of the upkeep more than anything else.  I feel like it ages me, but I am sort of feeling my age lately anyway.  You guys tell me...should I color or should I not?  LOL

[blithe spirit]

I remember how long you hair was..is it still thick and wavy? To me, it's a striking color the way it is...but I remember you other color too...beautiful.

[crestofwaves]

My hair started turning gray when I was in my late 20s, so, to be cost effective, I learned how to dye it myself.  I went to the salon a couple of times to have it done, but those same roots grew back in after those same three weeks.

 

  Since I am mostly gray now, I highlight, and still do it myself. Today of tomorrow, I will be doing my roots brown.  When the highlights go far enough down my hair, I redo them as well.  It's as easy as pie.  I just put the lightening mixture on some strands with my fingers, wait, rinse, and voila!

[Lifesighs]

Have any of you considered a glaze? I did it a few years ago and loved it, it covers only the gray strands and makes them look like highlights, it reminded me of my hair as a child out in the sun all summer. I might try it again.

[blithe spirit]

Mine too....from what I'm seeing so far it is mostly white.