Fantasies

[T2Friends]

Fantasizing can be a healthy activity.  In sports it is call visualization.  You think about the outcome, visualize what the optimum result will look like and feel like and then incorporate that into the doing...or some theory like that.  Anyway, this post isn't really about fantasizing about winning a race or even the lottery, so maybe I should get to the point.  LOL   Without providing too many intimate details as they really aren't needed, when you engage in fantasies of a sexual nature is it more frequently about the receiving or giving of pleasure?  

[crestofwaves]

For me it's about having power over someone else.  Weird, no?  But it involves my doing things that reduce the other person to someone who can no longer control himself. So, I guess I'm giving but in the end ( no pun intended), I'm receiving, lol.

 

[Lifesighs]

I had to give this some thought because I really didn't know how I would categorize which column giving or receiving, I really think my fantasies are both of us really into it. It's equal as far as I can think back.

What makes it for me is feeling free without inhibitions, a fantasy because In real life I'm not.

[blithe spirit]

Ahhhh....sexual fantasies for me involve a little bit of this and that...but mostly about a feeling of trust and familiarity rather then a specific act.

[crestofwaves]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  You all make me sound like some kind of sicko.  I'd better rethink...

[T2Friends]

Not at all crest!  As a matter of fact I totolly understand your response to this.  Nothing sick about it.  I think it true for me as well, my fatasies tend to be about making my partner want me and ultimately me feeling his desire.  So I get it, I do.  I find it interesting that the men in the group haven't answered.  If I had to guess a mans sexual fantasies would start with them receiving the pleasure and then well they rock the world of their partner!  :)

[ProblemAgain]

first of all, nothing sick about fantasies....you can put your bo peep costume back on....and men aren't all about receiving....that's some kind of weird stereotype that might just be reinforced by some men who ARE idiots or at least play one on tv. if you want a partner in this thing, you need to be willing to help row that boat too, not just be a passenger. please your partner and you please yourself...it really IS all about giving and sharing, not parts and methods like a shop manual.

[Karin M Fichtner]

Good God, no, Crest!  I always like to fantasize about the giving of pleasure.  Like you said.....I like to take someone to the edge of a cliff and kinda dangle him there for a while.  Great fun.  The higher I take him......the higher I get.  I absolutely love to drive a guy to that point.  It's not so much a control thing, I don't think.  I am not into making him suffer.......but I love to make a guy climb the walls just a tad.  I never had any complaints yet.  So if you're a sicko......so am I.  ;-)

[frenchy]

ok you two sicko's .. what time is the party .. cause i don't wanna be late .. 

ehh... i'm already late it seems .. far as sex goes i've always looked at it as a mutual thing .. but i'm sure if the right sicko's came along i could be coerced .. hey i'm easy.. cheap too.. 

[Karin M Fichtner]

French...my first husband always said he was like Jello.....cheap and easy to make. :-)

[T2Friends]

There is no right or wrong to this, they are what they are your fantasies, your sexual daydreams.  I wasn't even thinking of it being connected to a particular act, although I see how my sports analogy may have lead this conversation down that path.  I was really just wondering more about the nature of peoples sexual day dreams and fantasies and from which perspective they tend to fall on.  I think by this age we have all learned to be better lovers, both from the giving and receiving perspective, it is a dance of mutual pleasure on both sides of the equation.  I was just curious because I have noticed lately that my own intimate day dreams seemed to be from the giving perspective.  But even describing it that way is a bit deceiving.  In my daydream it is all about my own pleasure...maybe Karin and crest say it best, it turns me on to turn on my lover, and like Blither mentioned it is about feeling desired and trusted and connected to another.    

[frenchy]

i like the gettin naked part too .. 

[Kim]

I can't think any fantasies I've ever really had of that nature but if I HAD, I'm sure they would somehow involve Richard Gere, John Corbett (if that's the guy from Big Fat Greek Wedding), Nicholas Cage, and Cary Grant, and a few British actors I like!! LOL!!