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Aggie, Longhorns and everything Texas
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Group for all Texans and those who would to rather be in Texas.
Location: Texas
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Latest Activity: Jun 18
Discussion Forum
Did you know? 74 Replies
Started by Aggie. Last reply by Aggie Jun 18.
TEXAS QUOTES 15 Replies
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Native American Heritage in Texas 14 Replies
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Comment Wall
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Comment by Goldilocks46 on May 23, 2010 at 1:22pm
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:-D
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Comment by Aggie on May 22, 2010 at 8:52pm
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TEXAS GHOST STORY
This happened a while back just outside a little town in the Hill Country of Texas, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.
A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a really dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghost-like in the rain It slowly crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride really bad, the guy jumped in the car and closed the door, only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly started moving and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life, he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the marsh and he would surely drown. Just before the curve, a hand appeared through the driver's window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a cafe and, voice quivering, ordered a cup of hot coffee, black, then told everybody about his experience. A silence enveloped the cafe and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth and was not just some weirdo.
About half an hour later two guys walked into the cafe and one says to the other: "Look Bubba, there's that idiot who rode in our car when we were pushing it in the rain".
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THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Texas and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in this part of Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow patty
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
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Cowboy Humor
Here is a little cowboy humor that says it all.
A young, well-educated man on a business trip gets on the plane to find himself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt,faded jeans and a cowboy hat. Thinking himself above the old cowboy, the young man decides to make sport of him.
"You know," he says, "I've heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let's talk."
The cowboy looks at him wryly and says, "Well I s'pose that'd be all right. What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know, "says the young man with a hint of sarcasm, "How about nuclear proliferation?"
"Hmm," says the cowboy, sensing the young man's attempt to beliitle him, "That could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first --horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet, a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
Dumbfounded, the young man replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
So tell me then," says the cowboy with a smile, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nukes when you don't know shit?"
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Sorry, I must have slept thru it like the great earthquake of 1979. While in Mexico City in 1979 with 43 other Aggies I slept thru the earthquake. My sincere apologies, I need to pay more attention to women.
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"Praline" by Photogardener
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Springtime in Texas! Thank you, WS!
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During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules.
After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.
The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
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Happy Easter!
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Call the Nestle Hot line at 1-800-295-0051 (it might be busy, try again) When asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Keep going and press 4. Then press 7. Whoever thought of this at Nestle deserves a raise!
Received from LynnW
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