Started by Aggie. Last reply by Aggie Jun 18.
Started by Aggie. Last reply by Aggie Jun 13.
Started by Aggie. Last reply by Aggie Jun 3.
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The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty, the country music singer.
One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn't been to service lately.
He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. When she answered the door, she said, "Conway Twitty!"
"No ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I came to have prayer with you."
So she said come right on in.
He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty.
Then he came to a young widow woman's house on the end of the street. She was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around her and opened the door.
When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands - which allowed the towel to fall to the floor.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "It's Conway Twitty!"
And the preacher said...........
" Hello, Darlin!! "
Dr. "Red" Duke helped save my life in 1983.
Barry Farmer got into his Toyota 4 by 4 and drove to the neighbouring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, Neil, aged about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' Barry demanded.
'No, sir, he ain't,' Neil replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well, then,' inquired Barry, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad,' explained Neil patiently.
Barry Farmer stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' Neil asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well, it's difficult,' answered Barry uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.'
Neil considered for a moment, 'You would have to talk to Pa about that,' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $600 for the bull and $60 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'
Sally was in the Fox and Hounds at Newbridge last Saturday night, when this really ugly looking guy walked into the bar.
She told me later: "The wierdo came over to the bar and pinched my bum. Then he had the nerve to demand, 'Give me your number, sexy.'"
I replied, "Have you got a pen?"
He smiled and said, "Yes."
I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing."
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