Whether you support this guy:
Or this one:
Can we keep it fun?
The Grinch stole Christmas by holding our Christmas present hostage on container ships now will ruin Thanksgiving. According to 'Eat This, Not That!' there will be shortages of Jello and pudding mix. Also dairy products like cream cheese, half and half and whole milk. Boxed pasta has disappeared from the shelves. Frozen vegetables are so scarce people are buying up all the canned vegetables.
It is getting late to plant a wheat field and vegetables in your back yard. If you hurry you might find a Half and Half cow. I remember the slogan 'A chicken in ever pot'. Soon it will be 'Plant a garden and keep a cow in the back yard.'. Our farms are still producing but nobody knows how to put food on store shelf anymore. Maybe farmers will learn how to quit farming next.
The new Ark project...
In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.''
''Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark! ''Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
"Firstly, I needed a Building Permit."
"I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My neighbours claim that I've violated the Neighbourhood Bye-Laws by building the Ark in my
back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Local Planning Committee for a decision."
"Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl and I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then, the Australian Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark, until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building gang."
"Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work."
"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky!
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
actual quote from the idiot himself
"Biden responded by repeating the phrase. "Let's go, Brandon," he said. "I agree."
I don't care if your a Republican or Democrat or Independent I copied this a few years back knowing this would stand the test of time and still holds true today! So please read it and think about it! Thank you
The Best Politically Incorrect Obituary of all time
At first she was puzzled as she started reading this obituary in the paper. But what followed is Genius.
An Obituary printed in the NY Times ….
Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn’t always fair;
And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial polices (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teacher for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
By his parents, Truth and Trust,
By his wife Discretion,
By his daughter, Responsibility,
and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his five stepbrothers;
I Know Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim
Pay Me For Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.