TBD on Ning

My fiancee and I are considering a lifestyle change. It would involve winning a LOT of money and then buying our own private tropical island, which we will christen "Poopoonesia". It will be tax-exempt and the birthplace of a new kind of governing philosophy, henceforth referred to as "Benevolently Violent  Democracy", or "BVD". All immigrants and visitors shall be by invitation only.

We will install an indigenous faith, to be known as "G-Dimensionism", and it's rituals will include hurling snooping real estate developers into a lagoon stocked with rabid sharks, hurling all non-invited proseltyzers of competing faiths into the chemical volcano, and a tolerant and easy-going community
responsibility-based sense of social involvement. Also walking around backwards (and bare-assed naked) all day. In Poopoonesia, being The Misfit Toy shall be a welcomed sacred duty, not a burden to be endured.

Poopoonesia will include, among other things, a world-class nightclub, hosting bands and performers from around the world - It will rival anything in London, New York or Tokyo. There will be music, comedy, the occasional prestidigitator and I will even allow my fiancee to present the random Broadway musical, although those things make my skin crawl. (NO DISNEY. Period. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, and the Mouse House's bloated, cynical money grabs are a good place to start. No Ice Capades or "Magic On Ice" or the Preakness "On Ice", either - NO ICE, except in patron's drinks. There is only so much cheese that I'll allow to be served to my patrons.)

This nightclub, by the way is free to anyone who we decide is nice enough, funny enough or just plain weird enough to make it on to our invitation list, as are all things on the island. Thirsty? Free drinks at any available stand. Hungry? We'll have snack carts representing the best street food of the world scattered all over the joint - Mexican, Thai, Chicago Hot Dogs, etc, etc - No Deep Fried Anything On A Stick, though. Healthy or at least non-lethal goodies are the permanent order of the day around here....

Think of Poopoonesia as Disneyworld for people with taste, as Paris without the attitude, as Rio without all of the hustlers, your getaway destination for NOT being treated like a corn-fed rube who was put on this planet for no better reason that to be fleeced and then driven off by corporate scum and bean counters... I've been to Disneyworld, you see, and "The Happiest Place On Earth" made me want to start breaking things. We'll be doing things differently around here.

There will be free museums all over the place, dedicated to the arts, both classical and modern,  areas reserved for busking and street performers (Although any money you throw to them is unnecessary, as they'll going to be given the same friendly treatment as you, and all monies will be forwarded to charity) and there will be polite, well-groomed and well-mannered security details who are specialists in defusing misunderstandings and disputes of all types with grace, tact and kindness. And, if grace, tact and kindness don't work, all transgressors will receive a free-of-charge lesson in decorum that they will never forget, as the security details will also be trained experts in jeet kune do, aikido and, for the really stubborn types, old-fashioned alley fighting. (All of the kind of folks that we expect to allow on the island will be, by nature, passionate people. Opinionated, idealistic and thoughtful types are welcomed and encouraged to publicly debate their views, whenever the occasion may arise - But let's not get carried away here. Spirited conjecture is one thing, but start abusing the privilege and it's the lagoon for you, chum. And I do mean "chum". And it WILL be posted on YouTube.)

We're still working on the finer points (Public Health, Latrine Duty, etc, etc), but I can keep you all posted as updates occur. We're just getting started, and our hearts are full of love and our heads are
full of ideas.
More details as we make them up.

Tags: -, Better, Good, I, If, It'll, My, On, People, Ruled, More…Side, Stay, TBD, This, World, be, come, could, like, on, steroids, the, true.

Views: 81

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Can I bring my 8 tracks?
8 TRACKS?! What do you think this place is - ? Fantasy Island?

Oh - Wait a minute...
Yes, DD, of course you can.
Can I invite Sarah Palin? I'd be lost without her.
Good morning - damn, you're just too clever to put one over on you.
Quinny? Sweetie? You really do need to start paying closer attention. Snagg made that exception when he mentioned ice in patron's drinks. Sorry he didn't say specifically margaritas. I hope this helps.
Did I mention that everybody has to listen appreciatively to the personally-selected music that I'll be having piped all over the island ? Like the kind of stuff that I'M PLAYING RIGHT NOW....Just sayin', for the benefit of those who know which side their bread's buttered on.
Do you mean....are you saying......no Celine?
Maybe while you're thrashing around in the shark lagoon, Mr. Smartypants.
I guess this means no Donnie and Marie?
Damn Snagg, we have to swim with the sharks if we want to listen to Celine? I loved everything about this alternative island until now. I think I can get past it though if I'm still invited. I forgot about your show, tuning in now.




© 2021   Created by Aggie.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service