OKAY all you non believers, as if a pugilistic owl was not enough, here comes the story about an amphibian named Freddie the Frog who lived in Lake Lily Pad in Northern Queens, NY. Lake Lily Pad and the surrounding lake front area was the only habitat that Freddie ever knew. As a young tadpole, he swam in every nook and cranny of all the muck and mire and mud in Lake Lily Pad. Freddie became very adept at navigating between the strewn beer and soda cans, bottles, plastics, and all kinds of garbage that people threw in the lake. Freddie was such an incredible swimmer and diver he was known as the Michael Phelps of Tadpoles, the Mark Spitz of amphibians, the Aquatad of Lily Pad.
Freddie was such a likable easy going tadpole. He would dine on plants and leaves, an occasional worm or fly, but basically respected and was kind to all his lake dwelling neighbors. There was never a harsh word to his fellow lake inhabitants or relatives. He often played "Pin the tail on the guppy" with his nephew Kermit, and cousin Polly Wog. He loved splishing and splashing and taking a bath all on a Saturday night. The dragonflies, water bugs, and water striders of Lake Lily Pad admired the acrobatics of Freddie. All the species of fish and turtles and other denizens of the lake revered Freddie too. Noble kingfish and princess fish would bow when in the company of Freddie. What an amazing tadpole Freddie was. !!
But one grey night it happened. A dragon lives forever but not so little tadpoles. Freddie metamorphosized into a speckled frog. New adventures awaited Freddie. A tadpole never knows what to expect adjusting to froghood. Freddie's tail was the key to his underwater mobility. Losing it was devastating. The change in his anatomy was more than he could handle. His personality changed as well as his sensitive caring demeanor. Freddie became aggressively carnivorous. Damselflies were in distress all over the lake. Suddenly swallowing whole baby mice become part of Freddie's diet. In short, Freddie became cannibalistic.
Freddie became known as the scourge of Lake Lily Pad. Eating internal organs of his fellow frogs and tadpoles became his passion. Nostrils, membranes, sticky tongues,eye balls, and frogs legs could not satisfy his voracious appetite. Cousin Polly instead of joining Freddie for dinner became Freddie's dinner. Even earth worms burrowing deep into the soil were on Freddie's menu night and day.
The massacre, the culinary ravaging , the slaughter continued for days and weeks. There was no place to hide. Kermit was found hiding in a squirrel's nest high up in an oak tree and Freddie ate him limb to limb. Would this carnage ever end?
It was on an overcast afternoon while Freddie was chomping on some amphibian's spleen that he didn't notice a large object in the sky descending towards him. His eyes had retracted into his head allowing him to swallow the spleen. When Freddie looked up, it was too late. In a split second his fat smooth moist body was crushed within the jaws of a hungry sea gull. His lifeless body flew upward in the sea gull's mouth.
Once again, survival of the fittest brought normalcy back to the residents of Lake Lily Pad. The story of Freddie the Frog goes to prove that a frog in the throat is often better than a bird in the hand or a can of worms.