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Roller coaster riders have met their match.  Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida is delighted to announce the opening of the world's longest sliding pond making its debut this Memorial Day weekend. Move over racing car fans. Tickets can be purchased starting May 1st at "Burning My Ass Off".com. (BMAO.com). Be prepared to delve deep into your bank account to ride this incredible sliding pond.
 
     The width of the sliding pond is no wider than 4 feet at any point to insure the safety of the slider by minimizing bouncing off the railing from the very top of the 2,640 foot sliding surface. You read correctly.That's one half mile, Any higher and special oxygen masks would be required increasing the cost dramatically as well as creating the possibility of sea gull accidents. The sliding pond is cylindrical and tubular at critical areas along the route as it descends to prevent falls.  Riders will sit in a cushiony pillow sack to reduce friction and protect clothing. 
 
     As the sliding pond rider gains speed, he or she, will enjoy the centripetal  and tangential acceleration forces. As we know from Newton's Second  Law,(or don't know), the mass of the slider's body  could approach the speed of light and become increasingly large with relativistic effects....BUT no need to worry.  Through exhaustive tests and trial  runs, top speed on this super sliding pond will go no faster than 150 miles per hour at best. 
 
     Children younger than 3. adults over 90, and folks taking blood thinners, have air borne allergies, or have acrophobia are advised not to ride on the world's longest sliding pond.  All sliders must sign a medical disclaimer before starting their slide  plus notify next of kin before they begin.
 
     In addition to the world's longest sliding pond, Universal Studios is proud to announce the opening of a new area for folks with bi-polar disorders with the latest design of elevated "mood swings.".  

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