TBD on Ning

...or a licensing exam or something for parents. Our neighbor across the street is a young-20-something year old guy with a 3 or 4 year old son by his ex-girlfriend. The mother brings the little kid over on the weekends and the parents inevitably get into a huge screaming match in front of the kid. Last weekend, the girl was so pissed off, she purposely backed her car into the guy's new truck...which led to a police report and on and on. (The kid wasn't with her that time.) I feel so sorry for the little boy. And I wonder what kind of imprinting all this tension is doing on him. What kind of ideas will he grow up with about how adults are supposed to treat each other. Sad, sad, sad.

Tags: children, neglect, parenting

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Very sad. I know it's cliche to say this but: it's amazing that one needs a license to drive a car but not one for having children. And unfortunately, we as a society, pick up the tab for the troubled kid who becomes a troubled adult.
And we do, thanks to cell phones with cameras.

I was with a group of friends where one couple brought their child and put him in a playpen. He was getting fussy and the mom, who was a good friend of mine (I was her maid of honor) went to the child, hit him on the head, and told him to stop fussing.

I told her that if I ever saw her do that again I would call social services on her.

Friend or not, you do what is right.
Very sad I am afraid!! I know some people whose life seems to revolve around booze & drugs. They both have kids that are always getting into trouble which I do not find surprising as they are hardly role model parents. I think that if kids see there parents doing certain things they will think that its ok for them to do it, then they wonder why they have trouble. Parents have to lead by example until the kids are old enough to decide things for themselves.
Some of the kids will grow up and act just like their parents.
Then they wonder why we need more prisons.
I'm more about passing legislation preventing anyone under the age of 30 from having kids.

Urbangal said:
Very sad. I know it's cliche to say this but: it's amazing that one needs a license to drive a car but not one for having children. And unfortunately, we as a society, pick up the tab for the troubled kid who becomes a troubled adult.
Tho the picture is a terrible imprint on the child's mind,best picture yet is to have that child to see you interacting with your child ,should you be so blessed, that way he sees he has a choice, be on the watch out for cars, cuz that child will cross the street.
He will grow up to be one of them. Children learn what they see. If they see parents fighting, the believe that is the way adults should act. Unfortunately, that type of family can live in the less savory part of town. The neighbors are the same. The schools are overcrowded with children from one parent families. The one parent is on welfare. The food stamps are exchanged for drugs. I know this goes way past your question, but my daughter worked with these families. She has some horror stories to tell.
Considering all the paperwork and investigations and background checks required to become a foster parent or adoptive parent, it does seem ridiculous that fertile people can just have babies whenever they like (or, if the right-to-lifers have their way, even more often than that).

But try to take away an American's self-granted right to unprotected, unsafe sex, and you'd have an armed revolt on your hands. It would be easier to try to take away their arms first. Yeah. Best of luck with that.

It never fails to amaze me that the PRC is able to enforce reproductive laws. In the West, this would be unthinkable.
DannyO and trr2009...here's the weird thing about your replies...exactly one month ago, on December 9th, I had to take a day off work because of a subpeona I received about the incident that inspired this thread. The prosecutor couldn't use my testimony because I couldn't identify the mother of the little boy (I've never seen her face up close and she had her back turned to me the whole time the truck bumping thing happened).

The other thing that makes your responses strange ist that, after months of peace and quiet, I only got 2 hours of sleep JUST LAST NIGHT because the idiot father of the little kid was "working" on a truck...driving it up and down the street...minus muffler and fender scraping against the wheel rim (or something equally screechy) at 12:00 am. This insanity went on for well over an hour and when I looked out my blinds, the little kid was standing in the door between the house and garage, watching the mayhem ensue.

Now, here you both are...a month to the day after I went to court and later the same day after another sleepless night while the crackhead (or whatever he is) decided to "tweak" the transmission (or whatever) of the latest pile of junk he's decided is going to be some mean machine after he's done with it.

Calling the cops has done no good whatsoever. The rats see the police car coming and quickly close their garage door and turn out the light by the time the police arrive. When the police leave, the rats come out and scream into the night that they know it's the "fags across the street" who called the cops. We can't just up and move, so we're really in a quandry.

If we did call child protective services, I imagine they would need hard proof to take action. We have no "hard proof." So, I don't know how to help the kid and I don't want to risk the safety of my household by doing something out of pure principle with nothing tangible to back it up.

I don't know what to do.
First, I am not going to see anyone hit child in the head and get another chance. I would pick that child up and keep walking. The person would get some help or they would be in jail in my state. Next, When someone is keeping you awake at night, I do not know about your state, but there should be laws to protect you. Go beat on their door and let them know who they are dealing with. Tell them about the people you see coming in and out of their house all times of day and night. and around a child!!!----peace in the neighborhood. Good Luck
I don't have too much to suggest. Even if you manage to get the kid out of that environment, that's just going to make the parents even more pissed off at you. They can make your life miserable a hundred different ways. They might even be dangerous, as you suggest.

Do you have other neighbors? Are you the only people who see this behavior? Do the police really need to "catch them in the act" or can you get other people to back you up? Teachers? Pediatricians?




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