So may I authentically ask this question then... If u have 'a life' then isn't this part of it? This is why u r here & u r posting, correct? Is the the Outside Life, or the Exstistential Life, or Real life, or fake Life?... Am I hearing you assume that ppl who post here more often than u do...don't have a life? This may sound fecicious to u, but I'm actually curious. Bec I haven't all the time or resources to get online either-but if I did, & chose to spend it in this manner, then ...would I, not have a life? Does my being disabled come into some sort of Exception Box or something? Could it be that some ppl actually have a very fine full rounded life here & within their homes. Or even make time from wk to get here. Would that mean my life means less than your's does? I ask bec... It seems like a valuable question. I am perfectly anonymous to you, so I guess I'm asking for all tbd'rs that would be anonymous to you. Certainly you need not reply if you choose. It may or may not be part of this topic anyways. Relevance may be difficult to determine at times.
For starters, exchanges in text are the worst means of communicating. Unless you get very lengthy, many subtle aspects are omitted. We don't have body language, facial cues, and voice inflection to help us determine what is meant exactly, so then we start trying to read between the lines and sometimes we find things that weren't really there. And we've all been guilty of that.
Now about the shadow hating. I'm betting many of us "old timers" could toss out a few names and get at least one right in regards to who's been hassling Grace. Many of us have been assaulted with a very distinctive MO. It's usually snide remarks on a forum, followed by a PM, and then we're flagged if we respond to the PM. I don't know about here, but at the old TBD that would automatically cause the flagged person's PM to lock up until it could be addressed by an administrator.
So for those that suggested dealing with it in PM, many of us that have dealt with The Shadow have not only found this to be fruitless, but fatal for at least the remainder of the day, giving The Shadow the satisfaction of shutting you down.
That doesn't mean that dealing with problematic people in an adult, direct manner is wrong, it just means that TBD's chronic Shadows use it against you.
TRR, you seem like a good soul. Please don't take offense at somebody saying that their initial impressions were wrong about you, sometimes it just takes a few posts before getting a good handle on a person. It falls back to trying to read between the lines when alll there might really be is white space. I hope you're able to maintain your reasonable approach in this geriatric Lord of the Flies bunch. And yes, I was being glib, if anything, I'm one of the nuttier ones, and most of the boys on this island know I'm just trying to be funny. We're all great, crazy, loving, insensitive, understanding, and brutal. Almost like a real, live community!
And Thistle, glad to see you speaking up. I wouldn't worry about attacks on your computer. I've been offending people on TBD since the original site started, and I haven't been nuked yet. =D
This is one of the most interesting thread that have been put together. I have been on this site for some time now ans seen um come and go. I have seen the stalkers and the non. I have been in on a thread made a statement and the "in crowd "just kept talking as if i was not there. I have felt ignored, abused, insulted and I can go on and on. Then comes the question, Why would I hang around a site that I suffered such humilation? Some of the guys on this site and down right nice. There are so real thorn on the roses here, but I choose to ignore them and stay with ther roses.That is what life is made up of choices and no one is bound to stay anywhere they are not comfortable. When and if I get to that point it will be bye-bye
Begging to differ, Orinab. The title itself posed the first question, followed by the second, "why do some women", ending with the third, "I wonder what their problem is?"
All of those statements seemed like an open invitation for an honest discussion to me. If she wanted no responses it would have been easy to add that to the statement, "No responses please" or "Just venting."
It seemed like she was asking for opinions which can go hand in hand with advice. Just my opinion.
I have not had this experience so I couldnt share but after my original comment that has been thrown in ten fold and brought up through this post quite a few times, I may now have shadow haters...ROFlMFAO