BLOWING ITS TOP REAL SOON

[Mark Joel Lane]

Residents of parts of Northeastern Pennsylvania would be wise to heed the warnings of the US.Dept.of Seismology. Mount Misery. one of the last active volcanoes, part of the mountain chain that stretches from the Pyrenees to the Catskills in upstate New York , is said to be close to erupting according to several eminent seismologists. When we think of eruptions, one of the more prominent ones took place years ago on the face of actress Lindsay Lohan . Her flare ups were known as the acme of acne and the epitome of pustules. But the magnitude of Mount Misery erupting could create a horror scenario unprecedented in the anus of time.

The dire consequences of Mount Misery blowing its top can be more devastating than recent eruptions in the past in places like Mount Fuji . Mount Etna, Mount Vesuvius, Mount McKinley, and Mount Rushmore. There is practically no way of escaping the flow of boiling lethal lava if you are in its volatile path. Several resorts in the Pocono areas of Pennsylvania are on high alert regarding Mount Misery. These include Camel Beach, Kalahari Resort, The Great Wolf Lodge, Mount Airy lodge and Casino, and Mohegan Sun. If Bushkill Falls, residents of parts of New Jersey might be affected too.

The PPL Electric Utilities in Wilkes-Barre,Pa. and the Pennsylvania Gas and Electric Companies along with the Kraft Foods food production company are planning to send a team of brave scientists into the very heart and depths of Mount Misery with thousands of gallons of specially treated hydroponic dry ice to nip the imminent eruption in the bud.

These brave men and women are risking their own lives to save the hillbillies and boondockers and mountain men that live in Northeastern Pennsylvania, as well as the visitors to the aforementioned resorts. in addition to their sophisticated equipment, they are also bringing bags of jet puffed marshmallows along with them in case things get toasty. The scientists and engineers have been told by these Pennsylvania Power companies that "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. "

[Westerly_2]

very clever, my friend

[Wendy]

Sorry it's taken me so long to read/reply to this Mark.  Hilarious as always.  Hope you keep posting things so the folks here can get a taste of your skill!  

Wendy