BITE ME

[Mark Joel Lane]

Our deck behind our town house kitchen was in bad shape, broken in places, fence falling down around it, and generally an eye sore amidst the weeds and poison ivy and other overgrowth of unwanted flora from our own and neighbor's property. It got a complete overhaul last week. It looks great and even has a new staircase leading to the patio below now cleaned and bereft of clutter and rusted equipment or items we haven't used in years. Four guys completed the work in 2 days in a bit of humid hot typical August heat.

 

The guys brought the own lunches and bottles and cans of soda and other drinks. We kept a big bottle of cold water too and put out plastic cups if the guys wanted to come in and cool off in the kitchen and have a drink. Their English was aint not too good as they were all from some European countries and didn't understand or converse in  the King's English very well. When one of these guys with some kind  of heavy slavic accent asked if I could bring out the pitcher of water I thought he said a picture of water so I brought out a book with a picture of Lake Eerie. 

 

Bringing supplies and lumber through our townhouse into the back meant doors being held open ,albeit for short periods of time as these essential items were   carried to our backyard . Not to my surprise and more to my wife's concern, some flying critters took this open door policy to enter our humble abode. No birds or bats or butterflies or moths or even wasps or bees fortunately never  entered our house but a few gnats and mosquitoes took the opportunity to come in .

 

My wife seems to attract insects to her skin (must be all that stuff she smears on from QVC purchases).  She got somewhat bitten up over the two days and nights on her arms, legs, back, neck, and face. I spotted a couple of gnats each evening in our upstairs bedroom but they were so small and disappeared before I could slap them between my hands. I did kill two mosquitoes and one had blood oozing out..my wife's?  Luckily she's not pregnant these days. 

 

These little varmints never seem to go for me. Call me crazy, but actually I'd love an itchy mosquito bite or two. I'm not saying I want to get yellow fever or the West Nile Virus  but a benign bite I could look forward to scratching is certainly something I would enjoy. . I'd want it on my ankle or back of wrist or arm or some spot that other folks couldn't see but I could enjoy savoring and even cultivating my special itch niche. A nice itchy bite to scratch all day is wonderful. Don't you think so?  The last mosquito bite I got was possibly a decade or more ago that had any moxie to it. I did have a bite a couple of years ago but it turned out to be a dud. There's the seven year itch..Well,I had the 7 second itch. You folks out there need to be honest with yourselves. We all want an itch we can call our own. Don't deny it. 

 

Now that our deck has been replaced, maybe we can replace all our windows and doors. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky with the right guest flying in. My wife can wear long sleeves clothes and wear  a full body beekeeper's suit, mask, and hat.  That might be cumbersome for eating or sleeping but at least she won't be smitten from what I'd love to be bitten. 

 

[Westerly_2]

"Now that our deck has been replaced, maybe we can replace all our windows and doors." Funny how that works so often. You paint the walls, and then the rug looks shabby. You replace that and the furniture looks like it's had better days...an d so on. No end to it.

Can't say I enjoy the itch, though. It just feels so good when it stops.

[Mark Joel Lane]

Thank You