Well, I've just had a shower and a shave and I have a few things to do I guess. Don't blame me, I mean it wasn't my idea, but I do, I have a few things to do - I don't know what they are yet but that's never stopped me before, so hey . . .
Ya. Oboy. So anywayz . . . as I was saying, I've just had my shower and a few thoughts came to me and I just wanted to share them with all of you. You don't mind do you? You don't? Well ok then, if you're sure, but you better BOLT IN just in case cuz we all know how UGLY it is.
Ya-ya. It is. But I guess if we can laugh about it then maybe it's ok, I dunno, we'll see. I mean, what do you think?
Did you know we've been using murder as a form of communication? Yah, it's true, we have, and before you get all freaked out about it, you have to remember, it isn't like this is new or anything. No, no it isn't. It's been going on for thousands of years I guess. Of course it has. It's called human sacrifice and it's been going on for a long long time. Sure.
Now I know you are all going Huh? so before you start throwing tomatoes my way, think about it. You remember Agamemnon don't you? Sure you do. He's the guy that got all the Greeks together and overthrew Troy. You remember that movie don't you? With Brad Pitt? Well, it seems that Agamemnon, I mean the real Agamemnon, sacrificed his daughter before the troops all sailed for Troy. He did. He was communicating with his troops, and in time - of course there were no phones back then - but in time, he communicated to the people of Troy as well. Ya. Ya. He said he would sacrifice his own flesh and blood for victory, so the troops wouldn't mind the hardship and the people of Troy would know he was serious. Sure. We know actions speak louder than words, right? Well, we know that because it's true. And the whole event was so momentous and set in motion a chain of events so revolutionary, the Greeks remembered all of it in their poetry and plays and stuff.
They did. And it seems we didn't have the good sense to over look all of it. Haa oboy. No, we didn't.
I mean, think of all of the dangerous intersections in your neighborhood. They're a problem, aren't they? Of course they are, but just because the design wasn't perfect is no reason to spend all that money to fix it now is it? Of course not - until someone gets killed over it and then we say Hmmm. Maybe we better fix that after all.
That's human sacrifice, isn't it? And what is war after all, if not a medium of communication? It's just another contest really. One designed to prove My Dick is Bigger Than Your Dick, isn't it? And that takes a really really big Dick doesn't it?
Haha eeYah it does. And speaking of Dicks, How about that Dick Cheney, huh? Now there's a Big Dick, don't you think so? HaHa, eeYah, of course you do.
So what do you think of Afganistan? Do we need to be there? or Not? Not sure? Well we do I guess. I mean, we should have been in there as soon as the Russians left, rebuilding and putting up schools and stuff, but we didn't do that and so the Taliban took over and it just went downhill from there. So it's all our own fault really, and now instead of paying money for infrastructure and welcoming the Afgan people into the 20th century we have to do what we are doing now, and we have to do that because they have every right to participate in the global awakening as I call it and that won't happen with the Taliban in the way because they don't like the New World Order any more than the rest of us, and the only problem with that is that what they propose is actually worse. So, we do, we have to be there. We have to be there till it's finished. And we have to finish it too, we can't just institute a policy of war without end because if we do, we will all go mad.
It just goes to show, the Taliban's dick really isn't any bigger, it can't be. They are getting old and don't have access to Viagra.
What? Who said that? Oboy. eeYah. Anywayz . . . That was a terrible joke, wasn't it? Sure it was. That's because it just wasn't funny. Owell.
You could just stop reading I guess, but you won't. I hope you won't anyway. Don't ask me why, I'm really sick of typing.
Yah. Murder as a medium of communication. Well it gets worse. It seems today we use it as a medium of artistic expression as well. I think that's going a bit too far, don't you? eeYah, I do too. We learned the technique from watching serial killers. I think it really fucked us up, I do, but now it's done and we all have to take our dose of prozac. Well I don't know about you but I'm not takiing mine. No, no I'm not. I'm gonna revolt instead. Either that or tell lame jokes to people who just don't get it, one or the other, I'm not sure. Haven't made up my mind yet.
So anyway, here we are. The theater is here and they still won't tell me who I am, but it's alright. At least I'm not Agamemnon's daughter, huh? Wouldn't that be awful? Haha eYah.
What about that Cassandra, huh? She had it rough. Agamemnon brought her home, his wife got jealous, so not only did she kill Agamemnon in the bathtube for killing their daughter, she killed Cassandra as well. Cassandra didn't do anything, she was a prisoner for gosh sakes, but you know what they say: Hell hath no fury like your wife when she's pissed off or something like that.
Poor Cassandra. Did you know that she predicted the whole thing? Yah, yah she did, and the Greeks were so amazed they remembered it all and gave that information to us, and centuries later we're trying to recreate the experience.
The bad news is that the process destroyed an empire. Or maybe that's the good news I'm not sure. But it also gave rise to what we now call our system of Justice. Ya. See, Agamemnon's son decided to have revenge on his own mother and it quickly became apparent that the bloodshed would never cease, so the Greeks decided something new was in order and so that's what they did, they ended the blood fued.
I don't know why they did that really. They ended it and we just picked it back up again, but hey.
Yah, poor Cassandra. Well, at least I know I'm not her, I don't have the voice. No, no I don't. I'm not sure what it is but it isn't that so I'm safe. At least for now. Until they discover what ever it is that I do have and then that'll be it. Kiss it good night.
I dunno. What are ya gonna do, huh? I'm not too worried though, I mean after all, it's like a roller coaster, isn't it? Isn't that what it is? And everyone knows we're only here for a good time, not a long time, so hey.
Welcome to the war zone everybody. Be sure to keep your clothes on around here, because that's the only thing that marks you as a civilian. Yah. It is. Too bad though. They shoot at me and you get to pay for it. eeYah. On second thought, maybe you really should go naked instead.
Wouldn't that be interesting . . .
Wanna buy a tee shirt?
Happy 4th everybody!
© D. Winter
July 4, 2009