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All Blog Posts Tagged 'american' (24)

Woman sets self on fire - and it fucks up Google

YOu may think that sounds kinda funny, like maybe it's my lame attempt at humor - well here's a news flash.

I DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

No I don't. Google claims there are seven articles for the above quote: "Woman sets…

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Added by ZenDog on June 28, 2012 at 8:50pm — 1 Comment

“THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE . . . "

Some Music:

Four Seasons In One Day by Crowded House

Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

“THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE

UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES”

Yeah-ya. I’m sure it’s true. But, you know, just look…

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Added by ZenDog on April 7, 2010 at 5:30am — 3 Comments

I was on tv . . . !

Sure I was. That was me. Sure. CBS. Didja miss it? I was the murder victim whose race car blew up. It blew up because he was an asshole. That’s me isn’t it? Of course it is . . . in caricature . . . I mean, it was me, wasn’t it? After all, the clown had four fifths of my first name. And the commercial! “I don’t mind when people cut me off . . .”

Ha-ha. Of course not. I don’t mind being cut off in traffic. Not at all. Unless the…

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Added by ZenDog on February 12, 2010 at 7:30am — No Comments

DISTURB

That’s right, DISTURB. What? That isn’t clear? Well of course it isn’t, and you can’t really do much with it now can ya. No you can’t. But if you notice the status line it says DO NOT and really, I’m not even kidding.

NOT

EVEN

KIDDING

I said.

It isn’t even very clever is it, but that’s how they do. Half a line here, half a line there, and then there’s someone cutting in just to embellish…

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Added by ZenDog on November 18, 2009 at 6:30pm — 5 Comments

Katie Couric Interviews Glen Beck! or RED STORM WARNING

Did you see the news today? It seems there was a RED STORM over Sydney Australia. Huge plumes of red dust carried on the wind from the outback. Dust so thick you couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe.

EeYeah. I know what that’s like. We had one of those around here just this weekend. Ha-ha. EeYeah. A RED STORM. The only thing is NOBODY KNEW.

And as soon as I find that son-ov-a-bitch NOBODY I’m gonna cap his…

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Added by ZenDog on September 24, 2009 at 1:10pm — 1 Comment

Say, is it just me?

Hey everyone. So by now I guess you’ve all heard that the old Tough Questions and Answers group moderated by George R. has closed, and that’s too bad. I thought there were two or three threads going over there that tended to support my delusional view of the world, ha-ha! But now there is a new one opened up with the same title, moderated by Pacis Dream; you should be able to find it on the…

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Added by ZenDog on September 14, 2009 at 7:26am — 25 Comments

Jules

Jules

She was kinda cute, and kinda young,

and no one knew she kept a pistol

in her purse. She only used it once.

So I wonder: Was she the Master

of her own Domain?

Upon this point we could now dispute . . .

I would see her often at the slams

come Friday nite, and often she would win,

way back in nineteen ninety-nine.

She would feign with innocence,

thinly veil a smile and flirt

with mystery . .… Continue

Added by ZenDog on August 31, 2009 at 11:19am — 3 Comments

Did you hear the news?

Say, did you guys hear the news? It seems Eric Holder has appointed a federal prosecutor, John Durham, to look into the whole business of torture used against terrorists by the CIA. It’s true. Really it’s just another compromise, one that nobody is really happy with. He-he! That nobody sure is easy to please, isn’t he? Ha-ha! Eeyeah. Well anyway. It seems The Left says the investigation focuses too much on the underlings, just…

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Added by ZenDog on August 31, 2009 at 11:18am — 4 Comments

The NRA has Friends! Ha-ha! Yes they do . . .

Hey everyone. This seems kinda strange, I mean, I dunno. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just normal and I don’t know what normal really looks like. Ha-ha! Ya. It’s possible. Maybe I don’t. So I dunno. You tell me what you think.

Well, did you hear about the letter I sent off to the NRA? I did, I sent them a letter protesting the protesters in Arizona who showed up outside a hall where the President was speaking. It seems…

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Added by ZenDog on August 31, 2009 at 11:00am — 8 Comments

Elegy for the Queen (of Hearts)

They sat through candlelight so starry eyed

in Europe's lovely Jewel; lonely Paris.

He asked four words; his stolen heart's demand:

"Will you marry me?" She did whisper, "Yes."

Her lips then lingered on his olive hand

and with that kiss their sorry fate was sealed.

'If,' 'if only,' such words are naught but sand;

upon that kiss did rumored lips…

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Added by ZenDog on August 30, 2009 at 6:23am — 3 Comments

Love Is The Answer?

Hey New Guy. Welcome to the war zone. How was OCS?

Did you say "Love Is The Answer?"

Someone said that long ago, and they killed him. His name was Lennon.

It was just another practical joke,

Uninspired, without humor, and o-so very Symbolic.

If you aren't angry

then you haven't paid attention.

If you can't pay attention,

you really don't belong here.

And they've dimed you out already.

A plane will crash when a series of… Continue

Added by ZenDog on August 15, 2009 at 10:50am — No Comments

Red Lights . . .

and Cowboys

An urban cowboy circles

looks like someone stole his cue,

now he's lookin' kinda lost.

I'm sure he knows just Who

but not quite What to do -

he hasn't got a clue.

So much for tough guy eyes.

Then his girlfriend points away

behind me to the left -

body on the pavement

red lights at the curb

and they both go to gawk.

The body lays right there

near where Laura once was… Continue

Added by ZenDog on August 12, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Ha-ha! And how are we feeling . . .

Hey everyone. How are we feeling today? O Wait. Shh. Don't answer that. You might be giving away classified information. Ha-ha! EeeYeah.

I don't suppose anyone saw the Burlington Free Press today? Probably not, it's a relatively small publication. On the front page, above the fold, is an article about UVM and some research they are doing. I haven't read the whole article yet, but it's interesting because it seems they are, or they were, examining blog posts and stuff to see how… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 29, 2009 at 3:00pm — 4 Comments

Have you seen the news - July 27, 2009

So if you live in the north east you may have seen the news - or maybe not, but it seems there were some interesting events on the interstate in both New York and Vermont this weekend. Never mind the sink hole that opened up and is expected to be fixed by Tuesday, it didn't swallow anything noteworthy.

O wait. That in itself is noteworthy. Someone should send the state cop who spotted it a note of thanks, just for paying attention. I mean, really. Can you imagine driving into a giant… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 27, 2009 at 6:24pm — 4 Comments

IF STATEMENTS IN C SCRIPTED

IF STATEMENTS IN C SCRIPTED:

IF {

war is a function for profit;

}

AND IF

{

war is politics by other means;

}

THEN

{

politics is a function for profit;

}

IN C

FOR

{

IF (war) {

return profit;

IF (war ? (war || politics));

}

profit (politics)

return ( );

}

SCRIPTED

IF {

function (profit) {

war;

IF {

war = (war(… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 22, 2009 at 6:00pm — 1 Comment

A Barking Dog

A Barking Dog

two people with a dog

a dog's toy

and a stick

"jump, boy, jump"

the dog jumps

the other kicks it

they switch

jump, boy, jump

the dog jumps

the other kicks it

this goes on

and on

the dog of course

gets confused

and howls

the dog growls

and jumps

and howls

the dog howls at nite

does he wake the neighbors?

do they… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 16, 2009 at 8:53am — No Comments

Alias Hossein Barfaroosh looks like a butterfly to me . . . .

So I have this app on my My Page [my My Page - my my oMy] - anywayz, where was I?

Oyeah, it's a beta version of World News or something. I was looking for information on the DC shooting of yesterday, July 15, 2009, since I missed the news last night. Why did I miss the news last night? Well, it seems someone seemed to labor under the misconception that I must be some sort of TOY or something, but never mind.

Like I keep sayin',

I ain't playin' . . .

Anywayz… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 16, 2009 at 8:30am — No Comments

Zen II - IV

Zen II

Sow fear and confusion

among the enemy ranks,

then sit back

and laugh.

Zen III

Laughter is a noise.

When the enemy can hear you,

laugh as if you laugh last.

It won't matter.

Either you won't know the difference,

or you will make it so.

Zen IV

While they look within,

encircle them.

When they look without,

strike from… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 15, 2009 at 7:00am — No Comments

Butterflies in Sonnet

Butterflies in Sonnet

They hovered near like monarchs in the night;

invading vain and raging ruminations

with lyric sound of soft and gentle flight.

To walk away, solitude's intention;

their lovely voices bid me 'Stay. Listen.'

They formed a semi-circle and they sang!

They sang so pure of love endured, I listened!

Stood rapt with awe and trembling, my heart rang!

with bitter tears unwept and raging pain . . .

Christine was but… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 15, 2009 at 5:57am — No Comments

The Tongue

The Tongue

Stand naked and alone before the whole wide world -

Bleed beneath the knife in broad day light -

. . . . . . . . yet no one sees . . .

The mind convulsed with truths and bursting

- fish upon the rapids leaping, bent to spawn,

- intent to speak one word, one radient rainbow gem

sparkling bold and glorious . . .

The tongue clacks softly in an orifice of dust,

no other sound will utter;

the damned tongue no… Continue

Added by ZenDog on July 14, 2009 at 5:30am — No Comments