Jobs for Retirees

[CWO3ROBBIE]

My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...

About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'
So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at
Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[reggie]

what you need to do is wear boxing gloves

[Doug Smith]

One of my bosses says that if we just welded the doors shut on all of our commuter train equipment, we'd solve half our problems.

[Lowell Brandon]

It would open the door for a lot more jobs to suddenly appear!

[Lowell Brandon]

What job??? Why do you THINK I retired?

[Aggie]

[Aggie]

[metub4]

An elderly retired couple went to a doctor. The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly. Will you look at us?"

 

"Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love. "You are making love perfectly," the doctor said. "That will be $10."

 

They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing. On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for — I told you that you are making love properly!"

 

"She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house. A motel costs $20. You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."

[Aggie]

LOL

[flippr 2.0]

[Aggie]

A young man applied for a job at a new factory being built in a nearby town. He entered the main office, where the receptionist directed him down the hall to an office where he was to be interviewed by the Personnel Officer. After several minutes of describing and explaining all about the new factory, the Personnel Officer told the young man, "We need individuals who are totally responsible." The young man grinned and responded: "Well, I sure qualify. Everywhere I've worked, when something went wrong, I was always responsible!"