Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole

[EddieDingo]

These jokes may not be entirely politically correct, but if we can still laugh at ourselves there is hope for the world.

A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex).

She walks up to the pharmacist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?"

"They're a dollar for a box of three," he replied.  "Plus six cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde.  "I wondered how they kept them on."

[Aggie]

TSA is hiring dentists into Supervisor positions. They are needed to perform cavity searches.

[Aggie]

A man is cleaning out his grandfathers home after the grandfather passed away at 90.
In one of the grandfathers old overcoats pockets he finds a ticket for some shoes that the grandfather had left to be repaired, dated from 1955.

In curiosity the man checks online and is surprised to see that the shoe shop was still in business and is still at the same location.

The man enters the shop and starts talking to the owner. The owner explains that he is, in fact, the grandson of the original owner and has worked in the shop all his life.

The man gives the ticket to the shop owner and he heads into the back of the shop just to see if the shoes are still there.

After some time he returns from the back of the and exclaims "Amazingly I was able to find the shoes! They will be ready on Monday."

[Aggie]

[Aggie]

Velcro is a complete ripoff.

[Aggie]

Do chemists tell dad jokes?
Yes, periodically.

[Aggie]

"If you don't think GOD has a sense of humor turn and look at the person sitting next to you." Jerry Clower

[Aggie]

People don't believe me when I tell them I climbed Mount Everest, but I made it up.

[Aggie]

Preacher who always rode his bike everywhere, to church, to market, to visit members of the congregation was seen walking, one day. When a man with his little boy asked, “preacher, how come you’re not riding your bicycle?” The preacher said, “Someone stole it”, the man then said, ”Well it ought to be easy enough to find out who stole it.” The preacher, asked, “how am I gonna find out, son?” The man the explained, “When you go up to the pulpit this Sunday, preach the 10 commandments and when you get to the eighth commandment, “Thou shall not steal” shout it really loud, stop, then look out onto the congregation, you’re going to find a really nervous Nelly, that’d be the look of guilt, they’ll be the one that stole your bicycle.” the preacher smiled and said, “that’s a good idea.” That Sunday the preacher preached the ten commandments and when he came to the eighth commandment he ripped right through it, finishing it. After church services, the man with his little boy asked,”how come, when you got to the eighth commandment, you didn’t slow down at all?” The preacher said, Because when I got to the seventh commandment, ”Thou shall not commit adultery”, I remembered where I left my bicycle.

[Aggie]

I am a professional house keeper, every time I breakup with a man, I get to keep a house.