TBD on Ning

I just returned from having a very long talk with my very spiritual, but non-religious friend. We talked about all kinds of things...Then I asked her what she thought about the end of the world.....She looked at me and said..."What do you mean?"...I said "you know what the religious are talking about..God preparing for the end". She stopped me dead in my tracks and told me to stop reading that stuff and to stay away from people who spread it. She said it is negative and a bunch of silly nonsense. People spread it because they are full of fear. She said that is why they call the people God-fearing, instead of God Loving.

She asked me if I knew any people who act just like Jesus...I told her no I didn't. She said "That should tell you everything you need to know". Then I went on to tell her my cancer level is going up a point every time I get a blood test. At the rate it is going up I might be back on chemo/add radiation by the end of this new year. Then she really let me have it..Told me it was all the negative stuff I have been reading....I told her it was only curiosity, but it is much more than that...I was developing a real fear..a huge fear of all religious people and fear of having to see a third world war...What I didn't tell my neighbor is I had decided not to fight for my life if the cancer came back..That I was not going to take the therapy offered...Not because I do not want to live, but because I am afraid of war..i do not want to see people die.....She went on to tell me about her very religious mother who believed the world was going to end back in 1999 so she did not fight for her life and died in 2000...She believes if her mother had not been religious, she would still be alive today.

All my life I lived mostly in the present. Yes, I had little goals etc when I was younger, but for the most part I lived in the day I was in. I was not brought up by religious folks having had a atheist father, and my Mom did not teach us about God. I never knew God existed because I could not see him. I never asked myself who made me because I believed what my dad told me..That there was no power greater than myself.

The reason I am writing this is because I have let negative ideas of people who (I believe)are actually looking forward to the end of the world (and are actually trying to make it happen) affect my good feeling about life to the point I would turn down Chemo and die....That's really bad...Let me get this straight..It is not the religion or God that disturbs me ( I am a humanist). It is the thought of war which I cannot stand. Just the opposite of many who seem to be excited about the end of the world, I never thought about bad stuff like that..It was all just science fiction because none of us know the future...we only speculate...Anyway, to get back to my own positive lifestyle I will be shutting out the negative best I can....It can kill a person, or make them make very unwise decisions....If I would have told my good friend my plans to not accept chemo, she would have rang my neck......PS..Lets see what happens..maybe by passing by the negative my CA125 level may go back down...wouldn't that be great....K

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Comment by caseyjo on January 17, 2010 at 11:11pm
Most people do lift the things they want to hear from books..The rest they bury..out of site, out of mind. Beautiful thing you lifted there Phil.
Comment by Kittycat on January 13, 2010 at 10:20am
Caseyjo, stay positive. Keep the sunshine in your life no matter what. :)
Comment by caseyjo on January 11, 2010 at 11:37am
Faith is basically believing in something without evidence, or strong belief in something even though evidence has proven it to be false...Personally what I see with my own eyes and what I hear with my ears tells me not to believe in religious faith because it does not add up to much except giving ones-self over to a being who's only real concern is to be worshiped. To have faith so strong that one will gladly strap a bomb on ones body or in the case of less zealous followers of certain faiths, to cause so much stress and tension in a society as to have it go under, is NOT my cup of tea. My eyes and ears tell me more than I need to know. I see the faithful as groups of angry individuals trying to tear societies down, not free people with beautiful thoughts and ideas, but people who think they should control the thoughts of others...No Thanks.
Comment by Rishi on January 11, 2010 at 10:42am
Your mind is either a prison of old thoughts and habits or a free place where your ideas flourish and become realities before your very eyes. Manifest in faith AND BE FREE!



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