ACTUAL PACKAGE INSTRUCTIONS
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(But that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(Evidently, the shoplifter special.)
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And how would that be?)
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's just a… Continue