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The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 193
Latest Activity: 8 hours ago

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie on Tuesday.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Jun 20.

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Jun 19.

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Comment by metub4 on June 21, 2011 at 9:59am: A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one good look at this woman, and his professionalism was a thing of the past. Right away, he told her to undress.

After she has disrobed, he began to stroke her thigh. As he did, he said to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes." she said. "You are checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "Correct." said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes." said the woman. "You are checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That's right," replied the doctor. He then gradually proceeded to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I'm doing now?"

"Yes." she said. "You're getting herpes."

Comment by Aggie on June 21, 2011 at 4:07am: A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.'

Comment by Aggie on June 20, 2011 at 5:25pm: Printer Problem

When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."

Comment by Aggie on June 20, 2011 at 5:23pm: An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
Holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam..
I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress
Is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
To hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties
And your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man
And replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Comment by Aggie on June 20, 2011 at 5:21pm: Awkward

Mary and Betty were friends that worked in the same office.

At lunch, Betty confided to her co-worker that she had an awful row with her husband the night before.

"What was it about?" asked Mary.

"He was going through a closet, looking for something, and found my birth control pills."

"Well what is the problem with that?"

"He had a vasectomy two years ago!"

Comment by Aggie on June 20, 2011 at 5:11pm: A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast,
The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
...Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Comment by metub4 on June 18, 2011 at 6:07am: Now we know why the artist put a smile on his face......

Comment by Aggie on June 17, 2011 at 10:34am: Raffle Winner

A Texas Aggie won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home, his wife looks at him and says, "What are you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."

His brother, also an Aggie, came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks, where my brother?

She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house, sees him sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "What the hell are you doing?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin, What the hell does it look like I'm a doing?"

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give us Aggies a bad name, makin everybody think we're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"

Comment by Aggie on June 15, 2011 at 5:18pm: How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.... It should be opened when she brings it.