We had a total eclipse of the moon last night that could be seen fairly well here on Long Island. I was not aware of it until it was over,unfortunately. My darling wife,who I picked up at an animal shelter years ago,(we are both animal lovers),suffers from lycanthropy. Her grandfather was a dormant carrier of the werewolf gene.
I put up with my wife's constant nagging,complaining,verbal abuse,and condescending remarks on a daily basis. But when there's a full moon: Watch out Honey.!! Her salivating ,snarling overbite,Yeti like furry body,and howling are a bit too much. So we stay home on nights of a full moon.She usually stays locked in our basement getting rid of our rodent problems.
As I mentioned, I forgot there was a full moon last night and I forgot about the lunar eclipse (Big Mistake). My wife was heating up some roasted chicken for our dinner. Suddenly her eyes started bulging out of her face. Pots and pans and utensils were flying everywhere. Before I realized it, she was turning into Wolfgang Puck!! Her ravenous appetite had her eating chicken wings and drumsticks..bones and all. Then a few minutes later,she was back to her svelte calm little Suzie Homemaker self again,serving me what was left of the chicken with some creamed corn, totally unaware she had eaten the other half, bloody, and still raw.
But then, a few minutes later,she started coughing up hair balls, howling again, and in desperate need of Noxema shave cream and a razor. Before you could say, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, I pushed her down in the basement. horns first. I locked the specially built basement door made of tougher than nails steel and aluminum alloy. As I sat eating my dinner and watching the news on TV, I could hear my wife banging and clawing on the basement door. Watching the news was my first knowledge of the lunar eclipse. Now I realized why her behavior was so schizophrenic as the total lunar eclipse was taking place. Well, tomorrow should be a better day. We're seeing our daughter perform in her school play...Sweeney Todd
