SUPERMARKET MADNESS

[Mark Joel Lane]

 It seems every time you finally know where to locate an item in your local supermarket,it gets moved again. Who are these non store employees that block the aisles with milk crates and shopping carts and merchandise and garbage while you search for an elusive jar of low carb fat free sugar free peanut butter? Who are these people that place products where you can't find them or reach them? Even Dora the Explorer would have trouble finding what she was looking for.
I'll take the blame. I work for a national sales and marketing company and that's what I do. Move items,move shelving,.and often my work is really unnecessary,perfunctory,and repetitive. The work gets physical and dirty.I clean also. No..I don't do windows. I'll move corn flakes from the bottom to the top shelf but it's not a Snap, Crackle, Pop job. And it's not my job to rotate stock. The morons who stock the shelves should do that. If there's a box of Wheaties with Johnny Weismuller on the cover,it just might be a tad old. Check the date...if you can find it. The manufacturers make it hard or impossible to read dates. Don't blame me. I get dirty looks from customers and store personnel to as I do my insidious work.
But honestly folks,does a customer care whether Cocoa Puffs or Fruit Loops start the aisle? I doubt it. Is a jar of mayonnaise going to sell better in aisle 7 than aisle 8? Maybe..if there's a male stripper in aisle 7 ..otherwise,who cares what aisle it's in. !!! Don't blame me if your shopping cart knocks over an egregiously placed stack of bottled pickles. I didn't put them there. It's not my idea to have you navigate through obstacle courses and gauntlets. I understand your frustration and sympathize with you. I don't make the idiotic planograms we use and I don't make the plans to have both sides of an aisle worked on simultaneously. I agree. Poor planning.
If your Vermont maple syrup is really corn syrup from New Jersey,don't blame me. You want the real thing? Read the label or go tap a tree. It's not my job to pry frozen vegetables from the freezer because they are full of ice. Get an ice pick. I'm not Admiral Byrds Eye.
Folks, it's time to WISE up. I don't work for Uncle Ben,Aunt Millie,Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Paul. I'm not the Man from Glad. I just move things. Somebody's gotta do it. No WONDER bread is so hard to find. If you can't find what you are looking for,don't bother to ask a store employee or the manager. They have no clue what I am doing there .

[CaliforniaNow]

They gotta mix it up every so often to get you out of your comfort zone and actually shopping the store.  Maybe you'll see something you didn't know was there and buy it.  I get that. 

I remember in business class, we studied FIFO and LIFO (first in, out and last in, out).  Apparently these are outdated practices. 

I'm glad to hear that those expiration dates are hard to read on purpose; I thought I needed glasses!

I don't blame you for doing your job.  I even like the produce people.  As long as my food is in stock, I'm a happy camper.