Did something unjust happen to you a long time ago that was so disturbing that it still feels like a knife in your gut when you think about it?
In my case a woman at work (not my boss, but my bosses boss) had it in for me. She never hid the fact that she didn't like me, but couldn't do anything because my reviews were all great. I guess she got desparate because she accused me of something that I didn't do and put me on the 'watch' list. It was really humiliating because it was just my word against hers. Some things about her past (in another job) eventually came out and she quietly moved on to a different job in a different city.
Her job is now my job. But it still hurts me to think about how cruel she was.
In my case it was a family member, and it took years to put it all behind me. I try not to think about it, because my health has already suffered too much from my reactions to it.
My "best" friend for about 25 years was a pathological liar. I didn't care when he lied to others, but after many hurtful lies he told to me, and about me, I cut him out of my life. That's been over 10 years ago and it still hurts.
I was dismissed from a job in one of those "big box" stores because of a lie by an employee that I barely knew from another department. It happened in a "work at will" state where employees forfeit all their rights, including the right to question a dismissal, when the job application is filled out. There is in those stores, under lock and key and an armed guard, a big book containing the "only " answer to every possible circumstance rendering the thought process by managers and human resource people totally obsolete. One cannot deviate from the "book of all knowledge"....there is no investigation of an alleged wrong doing...that would require time, intelligence, and Holy Shit!!!....having to actually think! I was told of the allegation, escorted to my locker and then out the door. I boiled for months afterward and still get hot just thinking about it.
Had there been a labor union in place there I would have been back to work the next day.
Really makes you wonder about some people and how they got to be the way they are.
Authoritarians can be either people who want to be the bosses or people who want to be unquestioningly bossed.
I don't get it, either.
I am afraid of my younger sister. She is mentally but not intellectually disabled, and she knows how to hurt. We used to be close, but over the years, she has become so resentful of our family and old friends and I only can be with her when I'm feeling so strong that nothing she says can hurt. I haven't seen her for a couple of years. I haven't felt that strong since. I tried to help her then, but she wanted more than I could do for her and she reamed me good. My kids feel the same. Her health hasn't been good lately. She is a difficult person. Her daughter moved to another state to get away from her.
This situation is probably the biggest regret in my life right now.
That's such a shame. No one should be afraid of their sister.
We should talk some time
A couple family members acted poorly after my grandfather's death and then after my mother passed away. Their motivation was over "stuff" in other words anything that might have been worth something. Their behavior doesn't hurt anymore like it used to and I'm glad because I think that it just gives too much bad energy to something that is in the past. I don't however, ever care to see either of them again.
I guess I'm lucky to have a pretty close knit family. It's not as close as it was when our parents were alive, but we still love each other.
I'm sorry that you guys have it otherwise.