TBD on Ning

   I'm still in love with a girl I haven't seen or spoken to in nearly 15 years.

I was just wondering; Is this a common experience? Are you still in love with

someone from your past? Or, is someone from your past still in love with you?

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I am certainly not in love with anyone from my past. There are some fond memories of a couple of girls from high school, but if either one were to walk through the door now I wouldn't feel a thing.I'm not sure I can grasp the concept of loving someone that has nor ever will be a part of yoir life. But ,allow me if you will, to tell a little story about my Dad that shocked and sadden me a bit.

My Dad had been married to my Mother 51 years when he died at age 81 years of age. Not once did I ever see anything that indicated less than a happy union. I was visiting him one morning in the hospital about a week before he passed away. We were alone; Mother had stayed the night at my sister's house nearby to get some rest and hadn't made it in yet. A nurse came in to do what nurses do of a morning. She was probably 15-20 years  younger than him. There was a comfortable, light banter between them that at the time I didn't pay any attention to.....I figured she was just one of those nurses that was a little more attentive that others.

When she had walked out of the room my Dad said in a bit of a broken voice, "See that woman?"

I said, " Yeah....If you mean the nurse, I saw her."

With a little mist in his eyes he said, "I've always loved her. She could have been your Mother."

I was completely speechless....couldn't even respond. Here was a man that was so devoted to my Mother sharing with me a secret that I wasn't quite sure what to do with. I felt a heavy sadness, for him, and though she would never know, I felt a sadness for my Mother. I have wondered a few times if she had any idea about it. But knowing my Dad I highly doubt  that he ever slighted her in the least. I have never thought for a second that he could have cheated on Mother.

Sometimes I wish he hadn't told me and other times I feel glad that he trusted me with the secret. It didn't change how I felt about him in the least. Maybe it felt good to tell somebody and he chose me at that time, at that place, when he knew he didn't have long to live. And now, I'm the only one alive now who knows or would care.

Thank ya'll for listening.

Great life story Bob and it's easy to understand the emotions it brought up in you. I think perhaps you should feel a bit special because you were the only one he could ever tell a secret that he'd held for so long. He had to tell someone before he died and you were the chosen one. I wonder if he ever told her?

I highly doubt it. He was a quiet man, was not one to show emotions. I think she married before he married my Mother. I think he carried that around till he couldn't carry it any further and that in his own quiet way he felt it necessary to leave it here with me. Till now I've only told it to two people....never told my sister, but I thought maybe it might add something to your discussion.

 Maybe not exactly a love story caseyjo, but certainly love.  And she may have loved him all the while as well. No one knows what kept them apart.
Bob, I hope you don't stop sharing the occasional life story. I thought the whole thing was very touching.

Decrestion can sometimes be, the better part of Valor. I tip my hat to you Sir.



Well, Michael, don't know why you're not still with that girl you're still in love with, but my condolences to you; sounds like a rough fifteen years. I'm glad you've been able to function anyway.

The answer to your question is yes, I am still in love with someone and probably will be. C'est la vie.

Reply by michael clubb 2 minutes ago
Bob, I hope you don't stop sharing the occasional life story. I thought the whole thing was very touching.

I was touched also.
While perhaps sad, the amount of trust and love that Bob’s father had for him was amazing.
I can only hope that, on my deathbed, I can share my secrets with someone whom I respect that much…

I believe we are a close-knit group because of the stories we have shared with one another. I hope that the ill-thought out comments made by one person don’t change that and I hope that our stories never stop.

Apparently one can hit the send button without thinking about what one had written and the impact it would have....discretion is a tough lesson to learn but quite an attribute when applied with timing.

Cathy, I like you and always have, don't think the loss of friendship that may ensue, could justify attacking someones Father. Respect your thoughts, but this is a subject like politics and religion. Best to leave it be, is my guess.....


Like his father, Bob is a man of few words spoken to a few after great thought.  The story he chose was very personal.  I took it in the vein that all of us have a past...wishes, hopes and dreams. Our parents had a life before, during and after children were born into it.  Most children aren't privy to any of it.

Most of us have loved and hopefully have been loved.  Some have loved and it was never shared or returned.  The ventures of the heart can be strange and turbulent but can also be wonderful and fulfilling.  Sometimes real honest love can fall into your lap...it's up to us to take a chance, run the risk.


I've always found that loving someone, an old flame or even a current partner, is easy. It is liking them that is the difficult part.




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