Hey, Mon, Dad, What's for Breakfast???

[exedir]

A lot has happened in the last few years that show what, but not necessarily why things happened and now happening. Assumptions of how we live our lives is one of those things.

Once in the deep, dark past, say, the like the sixties, the decade I grew up in, there was one assumption that was a given, you were going to leave home. Yes, reach a certain age, like 18, it was a time to leave the nest, start and be on your own, live your own life, away from mon and dad. And, though there might be a gentle push, it was how fast and how far one could get to new places with new friends and new experience. Growing up was something you did, wellingly and but anxiously, like getting your driver's license at sixteen, and getting your first alcoholic drink, legally or not. Some of it was the times, a development of a "youth" culture that had to be experienced without necessarily adult supervision, trust no one over 30. For others it was economic, the idea to have and spend your own money on what you wanted not what your parents wanted. For some, there was no choice, greetings from Uncle Sam.

But the result was the same, home was where mon and dad might still be, but that wasn't where you were or what you wanted to do, you were moving on.

However, for the generation of those now in their twenties, they are not gone, or probably going soon; son, daughter or both are still there, growing up in place, so to speak. About a 1/3 of the current American generation live at home, live with their parents.

The general explanation is the economy, stupid. Children today are not able to make a living, have a job, have an income and are, well, dependent. However, that might not be all of the explanation.

Comfort, fear and no reason to leave are other possible explanations why junior and misse are not leaving, yet. Other hard reasons are that with the change of the law as to healthcare insurance coverage, those 25 and under are now covered with their parients. The size, amenities and comfort of the pariental home is hard if not impossible to replace at a reasonable cost when considering on comparable rentals. Staying place is not the stigma it once was, considering there are others that are in the same position, having to live the young experience even if it is in your own childhood room. And of course, the comfort of being around those that you know and may and want to help you by doing the laundry and providing meals, give you access to leisure equipment, space and transportation, and maybe a few dollars to spend. And no, not necessiarly the American dream of one's own home and family, but one that is diminished for now, but not necessarily forever, or not.

But then again, what is the American dream, but to be someone on your own, or maybe that to is so sixties.

[Woody Woods]

I grew up in the 60s also. And left home at the age of 19...drafted...returned at the age of 22, left home for good and never looked back. Once I had a taste of freedom...where I didn't have to live up under the rules of the home...I felt good. At home, I had no privacy and had to abide by the rule of the house....mom and dad. My parents actually begged me to 'come back home'....but that wasn't going to happen....lol.

With today's youth and their decision to not leave home...I think we of the 60s are much to blame. Most of my friends who are married have had their kids come back home, or haven't even left yet. We of the 60s have spoiled these kids, and if you happen to be a grandparent who grew up in the 60s...your kids have spoiled their kids. When I Ieft home, to me it was an adventure and as far as employment was concerned...I wanted to work and pay my way. Getting my own money and not depending on an "allowance", was pure heaven. And at the time the minimum wage was $1.15Whenever they would say the words...."well if you don't like it here, you can always move out". Well, I took their advice, got the hell out and felt free free free as a bird...lol. Many parents, and others, who grew up in the 60s (baby boomers), also could find good paying jobs coming out of high school. The big thing then was...."get your high school diploma, you can't get a good job without it." Now, having just a high school diploma, won't get you far. I'm not sure if parents prepared their kids for that. Plus, I think a lot of kids today think they should be offered a job....their first job...that has a 6 figure salary. The don't want to start at the bottom and work their way up. Maybe watching these athletes and entertainers get these astronomical salaries, they think that their first job should be 6 figures.....................Just my opinion.

[redhand]

Your opinion is about the same as mine. Actually, your homelife growing up might have been a lot like mine. Except my sister and I never got allowance. My father owned the house and everything in it. I asked about allowance once, since we worked at something all the time. Building, farming, gardens, whatever. If the weather was good, we worked. Anyway, my father said, "you get your beans and taters don't you?" End of discussion. 

I moved out just shy of eighteen. My father co-signed.

From what I've noticed, the 25 year old of today seems to have the maturity of the 16 (or maybe younger) of my youth. Most of the kids I grew up around didn't work as hard as my family (their parents didn't either), but most knew how to work by the time they were 15 or 16. Not just get a job, but actually work.

In construction most of my adult life, I have hired a legion of my contemporarys kids. They did a lot of standing and watching, griped because they didn't make a journeymans wages (although they were barely aware of what a hammer was for). Once in a great while I would luck out and hire a good worker, but after they got a hang of it, they would strike out on their own. (Can't blame 'em, I did too.)

Didn't mean to run away with this.

I just agree with Woody. 

[Woody Woods]

I hear ya...and I have a habit of rambling too...lol...by the way, my allowance was 25 cents a week and when I started working that ended. I started working at the age of 12 with a paper route in the neighborhood and even shined shoes downtown a couple times...lol. All parttime that paid very little, but I was working.  I had to pay rent in my own home...lol. My Mom said...'now that you got your own money you gonna start contributing to the home. It was my first full time job after high school that paid $1.15 an hour for a 40 hour work week. I thought I was rich.....lol.

[redhand]

Oh yeah. My first paying job was the day I turned 16. At a grocery store. I was in the 11th grade, working part time for .90 an hour. And I had to pay $10 a week for rent at home. I too thought I was rich. (spent all my free money on records)  Life was just a big ole bag of Crimson and Clover. :-)

[ProblemAgain]

the difference between then and now may be as simple as economics...sure wages were cheap from our vision now....but remember the little things?

 my first house had a rent of 70 bucks a month....you could BUY a house for 12 to 20 thousand

you could buy a 10year old chevy or studebaker or lasalle for 50 to 100 bucks vroom vroom a big flathead 6...maybe even an automatic! insurance about a 100 a year (and not a thing wrong with the car. the owner was just selling to make room for a new car)

the utility bills MIGHT total 40 a month including a telephone...

the reason lots of 'kids' don't leave home is they can't make it on what is being paid today...go to school and work part-time at walmart? how far is 500 a month going to go when you pay rent and utilities and buy food...not to mention books and tuition? lots of ramen and you still won't make it

and the cost of housing has outstripped any gains in income to the middle class...

an advance warning of this was in places like hawaii and california where real estate has jumped so much compared to income..now it is not too uncommon to find 3 generations or even 4 living in the same house..

[exedir]

Let me say, that the sixties experience may be unique, so unique it isn't and can't be replicated by this or any economy, at least here in America.

Mutli-generational living is not new, not unique and in some societies, it is normal and excepted of each generation to live and contribute as a family, however, that is defined.

The idea of the nuclear, American family was a fabrication of the postwar WWII changes in our economy, society and culture, that most took for granted life was  good, better and best, with the best being a home of your own, in the suburbs, working at GM and sending your kids to college.  Or at least that is what the Mad Men lead us to believe, to tell us what to want, and need, and what we bought, and how we thought we were suppose to live, particular if you neighbors were the Jones.

[Lifesighs]

There is a lot of truth to that saying You can't go home again, even for those who never left. It's a lot harder to do now, not impossible but really hard. If you go to a place with low rent there are no jobs.  I'm glad I grew up when I did.