Creating Wellerisms

[Mari Cella]

Wellerisms, make fun of established
proverbs by showing that they are wrong in certain situations, often
when taken literally. In this sense, wellerisms that include proverbs
are a type of anti-proverb. Typically a Wellerism consists of
three parts: a proverb or saying, a
speaker, and an often humorously literal explanation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellerism

• "Everyone to his own taste," the old woman said when she kissed her cow.
• "We'll have to rehearse that," said the undertaker as the coffin fell out of the car.
• A body can get used to anything, even to being hanged, as the Irishman said.
• "This week is beginning splendidly," said one who was to be hanged on Monday.
• "Much noise and little wool," said the Devil when he sheared a pig.
• "So I see," said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Can you create a couple of wellerisms?