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Top 5 things Right-Wingers can be angry about Re: Obama's Superbowl interview (humor)

If you're a Right-winger-- or a Left-winger-- you probably watched FOX News' interview prior to this afternoon's Superbowl.  FOX personality Bill O'Reilly (last seen wondering about the moon, the tides, and how God fits into it all) sat down with the current Commander-in-Chief for an exclusive interview before today's big game, and we've put together a handy list for all the Right-wingers out there who aren't sure what they're supposed to be angry about.  Read on for the list, Right-wingers and gentle Examiner readers...


Greetings, Right-wingers!  We don't normally spend a lot of time talking to one another-- you have no use for videos wherein idiots get struck in the testicles with blunt objects, and I have no use for your endlessly acidic-bordering-on-racist rhetoric and "The sky is falling!" attitude-- but today I think I've figured out a way for us to spend some time together.  As you might have heard, FOX sent Bill O'Reilly to the White House to interview our President (Barack Obama, in case you weren't aware) prior to the Superbowl this afternoon, and the results were...interview-y.


See, the interview itself didn't really yield any startling new information, and even when O'Reilly was clearly attempting to ruffle the President's feathers (y'know, like the moment where he persisted in telling Obama that people "hated" him) the Commander-in-Chief kept it cool.  Chances are, you've seen the interview and now you're stumped as to what you should be angry about.  There's always something, of course, but what is it this time?  Unlike many interviews, appearances, or speeches, Bill O'Reilly's Superbowl interview with President Obama doesn't immediately offer up any obvious things to be enraged about...or does it?


That's what we're here for.  You're angry, but you don't know what you're angry about (y'know, moreso than usual).  You saw the President on the TV machine, and you know that means you're supposed to be outraged (Glenn Beck told you so-- he even cried about it!), but you can't quite put your finger on what you're having a fit over.  Relax:  I've got you covered.  Below, you'll find our list of the top five things you, too, can be enraged about re: Bill O'Reilly's interview with President Obama (you can also check out the interview over there on the left, just in case you missed it).  Ready to determine where your anger should go?  Good, let's get started...


1.  OBAMA REFUSED TO EXPLAIN THE THING ABOUT THE MOON

Because you're a Righty, you heard about this brouhaha that erupted on Bill O'Reilly's show a few weeks ago.  You remember:  Bill O'Reilly claimed that the moon-- and the tides-- proved the existence of God.  I mean, how else would you explain the fact that we have a tidal system and a moon?  Science?!  That's absurd, sir, and I think you're probably just high.  Real Righties know that there's a direct connection between God, the moon, and our oceans...and that only Bill O'Reilly is man (or talking head) enough to call the moon out on it.  Stupid moon.  Always sitting there, so smug.

But President Obama straight-up avoided the whole issue.  Here was Obama's chance to explain to the world-- and to Bill O'Reilly-- that he's known all along that a connection between God, the moon, and the tides exists...and he didn't take it.  What are you trying to hide, Obama?  Why won't you tell the truth about the moon and its relationship with God?  What are you scared of?  Only Bill O'Reilly knows.

2.  OBAMA DIDN'T WEAR A TIE!  AND HE'S THE PRESIDENT!

Here's one I'm sure you've already thought of, but we're going to list it here, anyway.  Y'know, just in case there are some other Righties out there who didn't notice.  I hate to be the one to break this horrifying news to them, but here's the situation:  President Obama-- that's right:  President Obama-- didn't wear a tie during his interview with Bill O'Reilly.  I know, I was outraged by this, too.

You and I know that the President must always wear a tie, and that not wearing a tie is a direct indication that President Obama A) hates America, B) wants to kill your Grandma, C) is a secret Communist, D) is also a secret Kenyan, E)  is also a secret Muslim fundamentalist, and F) that it also indicates that President Obama has no respect for Bill O'Reilly, FOX News, or the American people.  That's a whole bunch of reasons to be angry, guys, so you better get started now.  Write some angry comments about it; you'll feel better.

3.  OBAMA DIDN'T SUPPORT EITHER THE PACKERS OR THE STEELERS

When asked who he thought might win today's big game, President Obamadeclined to answer, saying that he stopped wondering when the Chicago Bears lost their chance at playing in the Super Bowl.  Well, I don't think I need to tell you that this means that President Obama hates America.  I mean, it's obvious.

4.  OBAMA BLINKED 124 TIMES DURING THE INTERVIEW

This wasn't an unsual amount of blinking, one way or another: not too much, not too little.  But as we all know, someone who blinks precisely 124 times over the course of an interview is a Communist.  This is science, people-- though not the same science that explains the tides, climate change, or evolution-- so don't even think about arguing with the logic here.  But that's not the worst part.

The worst part is this:  If you look extra carefully, you'll see that Obama's 124 "blinks" are actually morse code that spells out the phrase: "I-H-A-T-E-A-M-E-R-I-C-A-A-N-D-W-A-N-T-T-O-D-E-S-T-R-O-Y-I-T-P-R-A-I-S-E-A-L-L-A-H".  If you don't believe me, rewatch the video on the left and count the blinks.  I dare you to tell me I'm wrong on this one.  Glenn Beck will have a full breakdown of the blinks-- and what it all means-- on his blackboard tomorrow afternoon on The Glenn Beck All-Crying Variety Hour.

5.  OBAMA ANSWERED QUESTIONS THAT BILL O'REILLY ASKED HIM

All along, us Righties have been expecting Obama to do his typical "political fatcat" thing:  to not answer a single question that Bill O'Reilly asks, to avoid the truth, and to generally tread water until the time alotted for the interview ran out.  Well, you're never gonna believe this, but Obama actually answered the questions that Bill O'Reilly asked him.  Seriously:  Bill O'Reilly asked Obama questions, and he just sat there...answering 'em.  Like that's what we wanted him to do or something.

The whole thing is a galdarned outrage, my friends.

So, there you have it:  five perfectly reasonable reasons to be completely infuriated at President Obama on Superbowl Sunday.  He thinks he's so smart, doesn't he?  What with his improving approval ratings and his attempts to make life better for Americans.  It's a shame.  Really, watching Obama during his interview with Bill O'Reilly, all I could think about was how much better everything would be if Sarah Palin were in office.  Or, better yet, if we had Bush back.  Weren't things so much better when Bush was in charge?  Those were the days.


By comedian Scott Wampler
(Source article)

Tags: America, O'Reilly, Obama, humor, interview, politics

Views: 11

Replies to This Discussion

This is hysterical Vernon, I loved it. However I must not be a righty...

I didn't watch the interview, so forgive me if I fall short on the talking points.

 

1.  OBAMA REFUSED TO EXPLAIN THE THING ABOUT THE MOON

Errr, What's God or the moon got to do with politics, I have to admit I'm a lil lost on this one.

2.  OBAMA DIDN'T WEAR A TIE!  AND HE'S THE PRESIDENT!

Good for Him, I don't wear ties either, never ever. not even to my own wedding would I. Can't stand the damn things and apparently he can't either.

3.  OBAMA DIDN'T SUPPORT EITHER THE PACKERS OR THE STEELERS

Neither did I, I'm just not a sports fan, I did however play basketball in school though. I think I remember hearing Obama and O'Reily like to play Basketball.

4.  OBAMA BLINKED 124 TIMES DURING THE INTERVIEW

Morse code for "I-H-A-T-E-A-M-E-R-I-C-A-A-N-D-W-A-N-T-T-O-D-E-S-T-R-O-Y-I-T-P-R-A-I-S-E-A-L-L-A-H"

God I hope not, but if the blink fits I guess. I'm a lil rusty on my Morse code these days and probably take me an hour or two to decipher this one, however I'm fairly certain that it would take more than 124 blinks to blink out that message.

5.  OBAMA ANSWERED QUESTIONS THAT BILL O'REILLY ASKED HIM

As I recall, O'Reily has done a couple of interviews with Obama, They always seem to be cordial and may have played a game of Basketball once or twice. pretty chummy together if you ask me.

 

In all actuality, The righty's and the lefties can get as upset as they want too, It's just not going to matter.

I read some really good political news today though, seems the Democrats and the Tea-baggers joined forces and voted not to continue Bush's patriot act. a Really good thing in my book, However Obama really wanted those powers and is having a bit of a conniption fit because he told his loyal Dem's he really needed that one.

I don't personally think it makes any difference Sarah, Bush or even Mc Cain were in office.

The only thing I think will change Government is if we can send people to Washington that actually have enough morals to refrain from being bought off by corporate changelings seeking to rob the people. We've really not had a president in office for some time with the intestinal fortitude to stand up to them and Obama is no different.

He's following the exact same agenda as Bush did, just hitting the Gas a lil harder is all.

The Day the Dollar loses it's standing as the global currency is the day Americans will get a rude awakening as to the reality of all the theft our Government has been doing, and that day is coming very soon. All Obama would have to do to avoid it is STOP PRINTING MONEY!!!!

He's not going too though, He's too beholden to the thought that were going to keep right on producing products even though he's devalued the dollar to the point our goods aren't trade-able at a level that comes any where near our current level of standard of living for the common man. The day our dollar loses it's standing as the worlds currency will be the day we all realize, were screwed and there's no going back.

Politics are irrelevant, doesn't matter who you choose to follow Dem's or Repub's they're equally corrupt, and Obama is dead equal to Bush on this one. No need for the righty's or the lefties to be upset, for as long as they are continually arguing political talking points, were missing the big picture. Government grows bigger and bigger, consuming more and more or our tax's for no other reason but to grow even more bigger. The tipping point nears, eventually the private sector will no longer be able to support the Government. Government employee's already outnumber private sector employee's, and that's a formula that's sure to end in disaster for Obama as he's continually trying to increase the size of Government, So did Bush BTW. just no where near as quickly though. Bush was bad, Obama is worse.

Communist? actually they both come pretty darn close to that definition, both of they're agenda's are the same.

Grow the size of Government to the point where Government is every ones employer in one manor or another.

case and point.

are we out of Afghanistan yet? not.

how about shutting down abu Graib? didn't happen.

And were still in Iraq too.

Not to mention illegal Mexicans have all but over run the southern states. (can we say, invasion?)

And, when the hell do I get my bail out, Hmmmm. no I don't want a Government job, just cash please...

All in fun, of course....

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