To maybe laugh instead of crying; sorry if it's TLDR, but I couldn't stop...)
TRUMP’S DREAM CABINET
(Yeah, some of these people are dead, but hey, he seems to worship the past…)
- Secretary of State: David Duke (because Trump thinks it’s “Hate”, not “State”)
- Treasury: His most recent bankruptcy atty.
- Defense: Ted Nugent
- Justice: Calif. Judge Aaron Persky (let Stanford Univ. rapist Brock Turner off easy)
- Interior: whoever-the-hell’s CEO of Monsanto
- Agriculture: see “Interior” above
- Communications: Rush Limbaugh (Yeah, I know; you were thinking maybe Ann Coulter, right? But, see, here’s the thing--listen up, Ann [yeah, right, like she’d ever listen to another female, hahaha] and any of you other gals who think you don’t need feminism: no matter how much you kiss the asses of the guys in power, no matter how “hot” they may think you are, you will never, ever, EVER really be allowed into their club. You may think you are & you may make money for a while [as long as you’re still “hot”], but step out of line & you’ll be screwed [maybe literally] & thrown under the bus just as quickly as we “homelier”, less-male-worshipping gals are.)
- Health & Human Services: Martin Shkreli
- Housing and Urban Development: NY slumlord Steven Croman
- Transportation: Benito Mussolini (look it up, kids…oh okay, I’ll tell ya: Italian fascist dictator 1922-1943 who supposedly got elected because he’d make the trains run on time)
- Energy: whoever-the-hell’s CEO of ExxonMobil
- Homeland Security: Vladimir Putin
- Chief of Staff: Actor Michael Kelly (plays murderous Chief of Staff Doug Stamper on “House of Cards” on Netflix because Trump thinks Stamper’s a real guy)
- Environment: See “Energy” above
- Management & Budget: whoever-the-hell’s CEO of xfinity/Comcast Cable (or any other company that spends all its money on acquisitions & takeovers & none on maintenance or customer service; hey, wait, that’s every corporation in the U.S.!)
- Trade Representative: Bernie Madoff
- Mission to the U.N.: any astronaut—as long as it’s a white male or a “hot enough chick”--will do; he thinks it’s Mission to the “SUN” & it’ll work because they can go “at night”.
- Economic Advisor: his latest divorce atty.
- Small Business Administration: Jeff Bezos
© Jane T. Godfrey, 11/11/20