Mindfulness

[PartTimeBrewer]

              I am starting a new thread here mainly for purposes of my own catharsis. It is my intention, at least at this point, to make regular contributions. Of course, if anyone else has anything to add, they are more than welcome. If you have any input, please contribute.

              Over a year ago I decided to deal head-on with my self-diagnosed adult attention disorder, (ADD). The inability to stay focused was becoming too stressful. I found myself sitting around watching the clock tick, yet I couldn’t keep “on task” with any project I started. Nothing was getting done and just starting something was becoming depressing.

              The smart thing to do was probably to get professional help, so instead I decided to try to heal myself, at least as a first try. Cognitive therapy and pharmaceuticals (UGH) might be the approved way to go but I decided to try meditation first.

              18 months and countless self-help books later, I still can’t bring myself to a regular, formal meditation program. But, along the way, I discovered informal mindfulness. Yes, I know it is the “Fad” right now. It is hard to navigate modern social trends without “tripping over” somebody extolling the benefits of mindfulness.

              Let me add my voice to the chorus.

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Any action done with awareness is meditation. Meditation means to be fully aware of your actions, thoughts, feelings and emotions."  ~  Anon.

[Westerly_2]

I just came across this: "if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

[PartTimeBrewer]

That is an excellent version of: "Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us whatever we need to know.."  ~  Pema Chodron

Sometimes we just keep doing it over and over somehow expecting different results. Sometimes we are hard learners.

[PartTimeBrewer]

Don't mind me, I'm just still beating myself up for going bar-hopping with a good friend Sat. Night. I never learn.

[PartTimeBrewer]

"In today's rush we will all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being."  ~  Eckhart Tolle

[PartTimeBrewer]

"How beautiful the world was when one looked at it without searching, just looked, simply and innocently."  ~  Hermann Hesse

[PartTimeBrewer]

"For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them."  ~  Thich Nhat Hahn

[PartTimeBrewer]

I may have posted this previously; it's getting hard to keep track. But it's still a good reminder not to be a slave to fixed opinions.

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Often we call self-delusion self-esteem. Don't confuse the two."  ~  B.D. Schiers

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Your emotions profoundly affect your behavior. Where you can, allow the emotion to pass before you act. This will lead to more intelligent behavior."  ~  Everyday Mindfulness

[PartTimeBrewer]

There are two parts to this adage that made me stop and think deeper. First, the phrase 'when we can'. Sometimes, (I argued back) the situation demands immediate action and there is no time for a cooling down. But I realized, on reflection, that on many occasions, it only requires the slightest hesitation to recognize and avert what might be called a knee-jerk reaction. And you almost always have time for that. The more I do it, the quicker I am able to reset my emotional state.

Second, the use of the descriptor 'intelligent'. I'm not suggesting that it is not intelligent or that it is not important to be intelligent. I'm not coming up with a good way to express what may be splitting hairs here., but this delay will hopefully result in behavior conducive to a more favorable outcome. Yes, that is the more intelligent path, but I don't do it to be or appear to be intelligent but for the more favorable outcome. Other descriptors could have been used as well, such as compassionate, benevolent, etc. Actually, I may have not gone down this path at all if 'wise' had been used rather than intelligent.

[PartTimeBrewer]

Recently, AT&T has been running a series of ads' on TV with the theme "Just OK is not OK". They were particularly annoying during the NCAA basketball tournament. Now, I do get what it is that they are trying to say, believing it is another matter. When you pay out hard earned cash for a service, you do want the best service possible and they are in competition with other companies, so it behooves them to be the best, or at least convince us that they are.

But comparing phone services is not my point here. Mindfulness helps us realize that sometimes OK IS enough. Sometimes it is all you can expect. Sometimes holding out for more is an unrealistic attachment that is the underlying source of our misery. Sometimes life deals out tough hands to play and we must realize that those times are OK too.

Jason Garner has become one of my favorite sources of inspiration. Below is a link to an essay he published before the AT&T campaign, called "It's OK..." https://jasongarner.com/spirituality/its-okay/#.XJ58cgB9Wcc.twitter 

I include a sample from the essay.

"On retreat, I’ve been reminded of the okayness of life. It’s okay for our friends to die. It’s okay for my mom to be gone. It’s okay that all this sometimes seems too big for my tiny human heart. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay I sit and cry with the weight of it all. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to wish I did. It’s okay even in all the darkness of the world to see the light. It’s okay to allow pain to be a portal. It’s okay to turn around. It’s okay to find a better way. It’s okay to live. It’s okay… it just is, this life, the one we have, yours and mine … it may not be fair, or even pretty, but it’s okay."