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Comment by Aggie on August 8, 2011 at 6:36pm

A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city."
"Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."

Comment by metub4 on August 7, 2011 at 5:37am

The New York City subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.

One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!"

"I don't know what you're talking about miss - That's just my pay check in my pocket."

"Oh really!" she spat. "Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half-hour."

Comment by metub4 on August 6, 2011 at 7:03am

Comment by metub4 on August 4, 2011 at 3:23pm

Comment by Aggie on August 3, 2011 at 8:03pm

A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem!! Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really? what have you been doing for it? the woman replied, snorting pepper.

Comment by Aggie on August 3, 2011 at 8:01pm

A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, We have the Parthenon.
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, We have the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"
The Italian, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
The Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says "We invented sex!

The Italian replies, That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.

Comment by metub4 on August 2, 2011 at 4:13am

 

 

LAST CALL

 

Comment by metub4 on July 30, 2011 at 7:42am

  Mature Lego addicts

 

Comment by Aggie on July 28, 2011 at 7:51pm

A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor and other equipment, the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash." The granddaughter, about to be rich, says, "oh my granny, you are so generous. I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, her granny whispered, "Facebook"

Comment by Aggie on July 28, 2011 at 7:48pm

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an
anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA . There was
a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract.
She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to
climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that
attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the
ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told
him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she
came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with
great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he
would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the
Environmental Protection Agency,
the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove
old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment
facility. I'm sorry, but they turned me down.

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