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Latest Activity: Nov 19
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by flipper Nov 13.
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Nov 7.
Started by CWO3ROBBIE. Last reply by flipper Sep 27.
Subject: Will I Live to see 90? From a 70+ year old friend
(Here's something to think about.)
I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am seventy plus).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.........
She looked at me and said,
'Then, why do you even give a crap ?'
I'm going to spend Labor Day putting my liver to work.
If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
If today is Labor Day, how many babies were born?
Did you hear about the Labor Day joke? It doesn't work for me.
The best way to celebrate Labor Day is by filing for unemployment.
In the week before Labor Day, Eli, a dirt-poor country farmer won the Lottery - half a million dollars. So to celebrate, he treated his wife and their four kids to a trip to see the Labor Day parade in New York.
He booked them rooms in the Sheraton International at the corner of Park Circle and Central Park North. They'd never been to anywhere like New York before, in fact they'd never traveled further afield than their local town, so when they got there they were completely bowled over by all the glitz, glamor and excitement of the "Big Apple".
Eli and his son Clem were particularly mesmerized by a shiny box with silver walls in the hotel reception. They'd never before come across doors that could move apart, and then automatically close again, as neither had seen an elevator before. So they were totally amazed when a little old lady entered the shiny box and the doors closed on her. The lights on the wall by the doors flashed for a minute or so, then the doors opened and out stepped a beautiful young woman.
Eli turned to Clem and said, "Son, go get your mother."
If all wealth is gained through labor, why is it that the wealthy never have to do any?
This Labor Day, take comfort in the knowledge that the pressure to have fun this summer is finally off.
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