The Impotence of Incompetence

[Quilty]

The battle scars are deep and wide:
Tears left trenches down my cheeks;
Broken ribs from a heart swelled with pride;
Raw, worn knees from futile prayer;
Grey hair in stripes on either side;
All that love I thought I'd given
Spit back at me at my bedside.

The only job I was ever assigned
Proved beyond my abilities.
I studied, I learned, I redefined
The path my childish dreams had drawn.
But even hindsight hasn't defined
Where those mothering skills
Deserted me, left me maligned.

[SeaRain]

Quilty, don't beat up on yourself! You tried, and that is more than can be said for a lot of women. And did you fail in your mind, or the mind of those you felt you failed? Notice I didn't say progeny.

whenever I want to berate myself for things not having turned out the way I wanted them to, I remember what was said to me by one child "You did what you could with what you had."

peace

SeaRain

[Quilty]

Thanks, SeaRain. Some things were my own failures, some were just honest mistakes -- like all parents make. I know I did the best I could with what I had AT THE MOMENT. That's what I try to tell them, but they won't "get it" until THEY are parents, I'm sure.

::wry smile:: It took me 30 years to understand MY mother.