Ok...now I have something to say about "sports" bras (which are not something I find in my size anyway)...Does anyone else get "mono-boob" or "uniboob" when they wear them? These are the words I use to describe the look that ensues after the first time I lean forward while wearing a sports bra...both breasts run together and the largest swell is in the middle of my chest giving sort of a unicorn effect, looking like I have just one HUGE boob centerally located on my chest... rather than have 2 lage boobs, one on each side of my chest. I hate that look...};->
Well, this is my new plan. I am going to measure under my boobs, and then take that same tape measure with me to the store. I will then measure the bras I am interested in to find the right size. If a sales person comes toward me with a measuring tape I will give her the evil eye. Back off Bitch, these are my boobs.
One of my daughters used to work in budget foundations at a department store which is now Macy's. She found that older ladies came in for regular fittings just to get the personal attention. All the old ladies just loved my daughter because she was so gentle and polite. When her department was shut down, they really missed her.
Hello everyone! DZGD invited me to join this group and it looks like a great group! I had written this article about choosing a bra about 6 or 7 years ago and I posted it in another group on TBD. DZGD enjoyed it and said it would fit right in with this subject. So.....I post it here for everyone's enjoyment. I hope it gives the readers a chuckle or two. :)
This month's article is dedicated to all of us well-endowed women....The Bane of Finding and Wearing a Supportive, Yet Feminine Bra...
How many of you women (or men) have tried to find a bra that supports your double D's, yet doesn't make you look like you have huge bullets strapped to your chest? Finding a bra to meet all of your needs is a talent.
I, Busty, have had bras that I swear were made from recycled tires. There was so much rubber in these bras that I felt like an 18-wheeler. And the support in these bras is excellent! You don't bounce (sorry to disappoint you men!); hell, the bosom doesn't even move at all. It's unnatural!
These bras are plain white and even smell like rubber. There is no femininity to them at all except an obligatory tiny white bow between cups that are stiff enough to support a rock slide. There is so much stretch-power in this type of bra that it makes a fantastic slingshot (sorry about the window, Mr. Huber.)
Put a cantelope-size weapon in each cup, launch them, and the under-priveliged third world countries have a new, cheap, but effective weapon. And when the war is over, the government can give the women medals of honor for contributing to the war effort. These massive mammary gland bands usually come in white, beige, or MAYBE black colors. No originality at all.
The "high support" bra may prevent you from bouncing, but your breasts also feel like they are in jail. If you put your head down and listen closely, you can hear little cries of, "Help! Help! Free us!"
And then we come to the UNDERWIRE!! I swear a man had to invent the underwire bra because no woman would willingly subject herself to that torture, if not for the benefit of a man's attention.
Yes, the underwire perks up some bosoms and they make you look sexy, but you don't always FEEL sexy with the ends of the wires poking you in the sides.
The underwire bra can be as plain or as sexy and feminine as you want. Even though I am complaining about underwires, I do own many of them. Underwires come in every color imaginable, and in almost every fabric available.
There are underwires made almost entirely of lace, which a lot of men find very sexy, but do they realize lace can be itchy to delicate skin and women don't have the option to scratch their breasts in public (unless you are from West Virginia)?? Women go through a lot for the attention of a man. And do men appreciate it? Hell, no!!
There are bras that are pretty, but don't support anything bigger than two mosquito bites on the chest. These bras give you more bounce to the ounce and the woman looks like she is continually dribbling two basketballs as she walks. She shoots! She scores! Two points!! Listen to the men cheer!!!
So, we have covered recycled tires, hardware, and software. There are also regular bras which are decorative, yet functional, but buying worthwhile ones is a hit and miss project. Take my word for it---I have a drawerful of bras which I bought, thinking they would look pretty as well as be supportive, yet they didn't quite make the grade. It could be because they didn't support as well as I thought they would, or else they weren't big enough and my cups over-floweth. I have never had the problem with the cups being too big. I think many of us have learned to check out the bra before buying it, because what one manufacturer considers a DD-cup, another manufacturer considers a C-cup. And believe me--a DD gal in a C-cup ain't a pretty sight! This starts "titters" of amusement from your bosom buddies.
It is a chore to find a pretty, sexy bra that supports the masses, but it is possible to find just such a bra.
I found some lace and satin ones at Omar the Tent Maker's Shop. He has a special deal this week---buy 2 D-cup bras and super-size them to DD-cups for only 39 cents more......
Until next time, this is Busty Bustier, your ambling, rambling reporter, telling all you women (and men) in bras: stand tall, stick your chest out, and be proud of those speed bumps, but don't make mountains out of mole hills.