How do you tell your family?

[SeaRain]

I'm living with my son right now, he knows I fall and pass out and had to have a heart test yesterday. My daughters know I am dizzy.

I just had the second pap in 6 months because the last one was bad.

I have to have a second mammo in 6 months because there was something there they want to watch.

How do I add more info to what they already have (don't have results from heart test yet); won't say anything about the pap and mammo until I get the results, and if nothing is wrong won't say anything then.

But I am preparing for having to tell them something is wrong. So I am asking for help in how to tell them. They are 24-33, two guys, two gals.

[WS]

Oh, SeaRain, I am so sorry to hear about your woes - I hope your tests turn out to be normal (I know someone who had three or four abnormal papa smears and then everything was okay, so it could easily happen.) But I think the best way to tell family is to be honest with them - I'm sure your kids will be very understanding. Good luck (and I hope you don't have to tell them anything!!)

[Witchy Luck]

I had a series of bad paps when the kids were in grade school...never told them a thing...turned out to be nothing much. A couple of years ago I found a lump in my breast...had mammo (and an ultrasound, and another mammo, and another ultrasound, ect)...they found more lumps. They scheduled biopsies. At that point I told my children...by this time they were all grown and on their own except the youngest who was 15. He said it was actually a relief to know what was the matter. He was perceptive enough to know that something was making me very upset and not knowing what it was made him more worried than knowing what the problem was.
As for how I told them...well all but the youngest live out of state...so I called them all on the same day and presented the facts in as upbeat a manner as possible. You might think that living far away I could have avoided telling them...huh. Both the girls said "I knew something was bothering you!". Relief to find out it was not worse was the prevailing emotion (one of my daughters admitted that she had become positive I was dying and not telling them!?!).
So I assured them I was going to be just fine...more than once during the course of this thing as it turned out. Amazingly enough, one lumpectomy later, I am just that...Fine...};->
I wish you luck...and strength...and courage...and I will keep you (and yours) in my prayers.
Tell them though...let them be the fine adults you raised them to be...mine were an amazing source of strength.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

SeaRain, from my own experiences with my mother, step-father, and later with my dad, it's hard to hide things from one's children. Esp. adult children as they will talk amongst themselves and worry, and fret, and hide it from you! . So perhaps all this hiding is not such a good thing. I'm with everyone here, and I loved how Wanda put things, it's hard to act, so don't. They deserve the truth, and if the roles were reversed, you would be upset no end if they were hiding their serious problems from you. I'm so glad and grateful in retrospect that my mum shared everything with me. It helped me understand her better, it matured me, and when she died, I had no regrets that I didn't help her as much as humanly possible. Sharing is a gift of your true self that you give them, and it's a gift of trust that you give yourself.

My thoughts are with you, with my deepest wishes that the tests turn out to be normal. The Japanese have a saying I'm rather fond of - No road is too long with friends by your side. Your children are now your friends, too.
Thank you for trusting and sharing with us.

[LyndaAndLab]

SeaRain,
I agree with everyone else (Including 1GreatLady - but take away the plural, I only have a brother, and add my mother instead!). My kids would want to know - I have a 20-year-old daughter and a 23-year-old son. My son actually gets mad at me when he gets bad medical news without the earlier mentions of what was felt or what test I'm scheduled for. He says he's still my son, I'm still his mother. He knows I have lupus and have had a complicated case. But he knows I like to talk with him, so he'll call in more often, he'll act like he's "my mother." My daughter, too. She asked me after she returned from her 1st year of college if I thought she was stupid. She said she lived with me sick for years, suddenly she goes away and everything is fine. She hoped I respected her enough to know that I could and should tell her the truth.
Your children know you've been sick; that you've had a rough way to go. Tell them what you know now. They would want to know, and you need the support.
Lynda

[SeaRain]

Son of a bitch I am just so pissing mad - I got the lab report and my second pap is also abnormal. I went through this already and ended up with a hysterectomy - I don't have a freakin' cervix - where the hell are these abnormal cells coming from and WHY?

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Oh good heavens SR! ((((HUGS)))))) and I wish I had an answer for you - it certainly seems odd. What does the Dr. have to say? Abnormal does not necessarily mean terrible news maybe they are shedding cells? . . . So now breath and calm and find out and share if you wish.