Having Fun with Friends

[Colleen Whitfield]

I'm 49 years old and was married for 29 years to a man who did not allow me to have friends or go out. I separated from him 2-1/2 years ago and am going through divorce. I've been on a couple of dates (drinks, lunch, etc). My daughter and her friend wants me to go out dancing with her friend's mom. I haven't danced since high school. I'm afraid I'll look like an idiot or be totally out of place. I'm not normally scared of things, but this make me nervous. How do I get the courage to go out and mingle with society after all these years of isolation?

[BlueHera]

Colleen,

Enjoy the wide open space that lies in front of you.

I've been through similar terrain -- expect wonderful surprises. See where they lead.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

I too had a similar experience. Do the things you fear, and trust that the death of fear is certain. Take it all slow and easy - and soon you will feel you will fit right in - the way that YOU want to fit in! Good luck - let us know how it goes!

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

P.S. - Look the best that you can look and feel - looking great is a killer app. and can give you the courage you need to break out of the shell ;))

[Queen Saraka]

When I walked out of my comfy space and home after 35 years, I knew I had faced my biggest fear. I took a few dancing lessons and discovered, it's TRUE! I really do have 2 left feet. Perhaps you could take a few lessons and maybe you will learn you LOVE to dance. Even if you don't, getting out and about is good for your morale. You are now in charge of where you go, what you do, and, most importantly how you feel. Isn't that a wonderful feeling! So slap on a smile and believe in yourself. Life is to short to NOT have fun and much too long to be miserable.

You are going to do just fine. Send me a message if you ever want to chat or need a cheerleader.

[Jillybean]

Just go out, be with people. You don't have to dance if you don't want to. Listen to the music, watch everyone else. Maybe you'll get into it, maybe you'll just talk to some people and have fun. It doesn't matter. The mingling and having fun and getting out there is the important part. I took my son's mom out with me a year or so after her divorce, and she had a blast. She is not at all the partying type, but she had a terrific time. We closed down the club! All her friends were thanking me for it the next time they saw me, saying it was exactly what she had needed. Just give it a try!

[BlueHera]

Physical activity does it for me -- moving and keep on moving. Interspersed with islands of silence and quiet.

But it's a fascinating recipe for each of us; listening clues us in.

[Suuse]

You might start by turning on the radio and doing a bit of cleaning. And while you dust, let the music take you. Just get comfortable in the rhythms and don't worry about how you look--the dust bunnies won't care. When you get to the club, remember: you don't have to dance. Perhaps you'll just watch--but do let the music move you. What's important is that you're out with friends, enjoying yourself and their company.

PS: GOOD FOR YOU!!!

[Lori Lamberski]

Just Do It Colleen....go out and socialize with people. Get back into the groove of being with people. You do not have to dance if you do not feel like it. Just getting out with other people, talking, listening, laughing, and enjoying the company of others will boost your spirit and put a smile in your heart. Life is too short to be abused and miserable. Live each day as if it were your last one...you will be surprised at the outcome. Be strong, stay safe, and blessings to you my friend...Lori

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Colleen ~ just checking in on you. How are you doing?

[ThisAndThat]

I feel for you. Even though I'm extroverted, I'm scared of social situations after being married 22 years to a control freak. My husband did not like me to have a life outside of him and would call every hour to check on me. I force myself into social situations now because it beats being home all the time. Afterwards I feel better and try to learn about someone else during my being exposed to others. Learning about someone else takes the pressure off me. You can go being nervous and just sit. I like the dance lessons idea from Queen Saraka and second her original idea.