Abuser List

[Grace Linda]

Do you think we should start a group that outs people on TBD who are scammers, players?

It appears that there are a number of bad apples that are taking advantage of out friends/sisters/brothers. I for one think of TBD as an oasis. It may be very naive of me to think of it that way.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Hi Grace Linda!

It's an interesting question. A group dedicated to outing people. Hummm. We have a group here entitled "members you can't stand' and that group has attracted people who have "outed" people by name, one in particular - so unfairly, so unjustly, and so cruelly - that it caused quite an uproar. Thankfully the perpetrator - upon realizing his mistake, deleted it and apologized to the husband and wife team here on TBD. Albeit not publicly. But then - cowards are never wrong publicly - are they?!?

As with Abby's idea on outing "players" the problem with "naming names" is that it is defamatory. Libelous behaviour is not - to my mind, a good idea, ever. What one person finds to be harmless and delicious flirting would be to another - outright sexual harassment.

I think that now that we have a seven able bodied coalition of moderators , not forgetting Robin and Kat - in total nine) we would be better served to put a complaint privately to the group for opinion and mediation and if need be - action.

[Grace Linda]

I see nothing wrong with, copying a letter that you think is generated by a scammer without the name of the sender to see if someone else has received the same. In my case, in which a person IMed me to talk about being naked, I think that is pretty clearly abusive.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Absolutely it was abusive. Well, let's talk about this here in terms of tips and advice as to how to handle it. I'd like to also see what the moderator group has to say as a team about such a "group" - after all - it is their job to (voluntarily as we know) watch our backs.

I have to go out for a while - I'll be back. Everyone - lets weigh in with opinions please! Yay or Nay to a group that outs players and scammers- and how do you go about such a thing without naming names?

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

.............further to the above, I have sent a missive to Katherine with a link to this discussion, asking for input from the moderators.

[Suuse]

I can't in good faith encourage posts that could leave this board and its moderators (myself included) open to criticism, censure or even a lawsuit. It's one thing to want to protect the population here from predatory sorts (including "Hey, baby--what are wearing?" types)--but it's another to fling open Pandora's box and see what kind of trouble flies out.

How would we--the readers of any one post--be certain that the post or IM in question was, indeed, legitimate? How could we be sure that the poster wasn't grinding an ax? Face it: very few of us have ever met the people with whom we correspond here. With no disrespect intended, falsifying email or IM content would not be difficult and could be very damning.

Count me out.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Thank you Kat. And again - thank you Grace Linda for posing this important question in the manner that you did, as it allowed for considered discussion. I trust that Kathrine's post will stand as excellent advice, and as such - this discussion is now closed to further comment.

As "For Women Only" is not a vehicle for derisive public debate, I will welcome any further discussion on this issue as a private message.

My warmest thanks for every one's gracious and considered participation!