Patience my ass

[Robert Burke]

Do you remember that poster (often a blacklight poster) from the 1960s, showing two buzzards, with one saying, "Patience my ass, I'm going to kill something!"?

Well, that's how I'm feeling about the single life.  I know that I'm supposed to simply be happy in my own existence, but goddamn!  It's been 2 years of aloneness, and I'm sick of it.  I've been having lots of fun adventures, but always alone, and I see no end in sight.

I work in a very small and closed system, with no chance to meet someone through work.  Do you think that maybe every Friday night I should go have a beer in a different bar in the town where I live?  Is there an online dating service that any of you think particularly highly of?

It seems increasingly likely that either October 1, 2014, or December 31, 2014 will be my retirement date.  Should I simply try to remain patient until then?

[RavenDelcor]

There are many other options than bars and internet sites. Pursue an outside interest as a volunteer. In that way at least you have human contact with others who have similar interests. Go where people go, fairs, farmer's markets, art exhibits, coffee shops that have entertainment, etc. If you like church, get involved with some of the social functions. If not church, there are schools to get involved with (night functions) and other organizations where you can meet and greet lots of people who are not on the make.

It's difficult but you do meet a lot of people with whom you can develop friendships and friendships lead to the friends of friends.

Good luck, don't be patient, be proactive.

[Grandma Helen]

I think I'm the wrong one to weigh in on this subject.  I've been divorced going on 8 years and I haven't found anyone.  I'm really not proactive in the pursuit and I'm retired now.  Church seems like either all older couples or older singles all by themselves.  I was on a couple of dating sites and I'm not cut out for that.  I don't drive anymore, so that doesn't help.  I've taken to taking care of my granddaughter and hanging out with a couple of neighbors.  Bob, I don't know the answer to that question at all.  Maybe we can come up with it on here.  I know it can be lonely. 

[Karin M Fichtner]

Are you kidding me?? 

We "mature" women outnumber you available guys like 3 to 1!  You are a hot commodity, Mister!  All you have to do is get out and mingle a bit.   Believe me, you won't have to drop too much chum in the waters to get a bite!  I like the suggestions mentioned here. I met a very nice guy on Match.com, but some folks have said they had problems with that sight. I dropped out of it when I started dating, but have since started flying solo again. I don't think I'll be joining again.  Besides, Match.com isn't free.  I just joined a Meetup group in Fredericksburg, and they seem to do a lot of stuff, but it's a bit of a drive for me, and the gas is starting to get pricey.  They also go to a lot of places that require a cover charge.  I joined a senior group to meet more people, but the men there have one foot in the grave....and the other on a banana peel, so not much chance there :-)  One thing's for sure.....working and going home isn't going to do the job; you have to get out and meet people.....any people.....'cause like someone else said.....through some people come other people.  The more people you meet.....the better the likelihood of meeting a "friend of a friend" and hitting it off.  Good luck!! 

[Johnnieboy]

You guys are all on the east coast. You should all get together. Who knows?

[Karin M Fichtner]

Naah, Robert's back "up home".....near where I was in July.  He's not all that far from my daughter's place. 

[Eaglewoman]

Two of my friends met their girlfriends at the senior center and have been together many years now. Here we have Active Minds a discussion group of current affairs, lols of people there and they also have dinners, bus tours and other activities,go to book signings by authors on subjects you are interested in.Always find lots of things to do, that have men and women, but like Helen I have been divorced for 28 years and not looking, but these are where I see lots of people.

[Ursula]

IMHO, the best advice anyone can give you is to get out and mingle.  After you retire, you will have the freedom to do what you want with your time, so use it wisely.  Joseph Campbell used to tell people to "Follow your Bliss!"  It's still good advice.  You may not meet that special someone, but you will have a full life.

I've been a widow for 7 years now; I have lots of friends, volunteer as a docent at a historic hotel (my personal bliss, I love history), take classes at the local university, Jazzercise....in other words, I have a full life....but no one to share my life, except my dogs.  I haven't given up, but it's not the main focus.

So get out there and mingle.  And BTW, Karin is right: we women outnumber you men in our age group, so enjoy.

[Johnnieboy]

You ladies may gang up on me any time. I'm at your mercy.

[Grandma Helen]

OK, JB we'll all come out west and have some fun.  Bob, I think a lot of folks have lots of great suggestions.  I should listen to a couple of them myself. 

[Karin M Fichtner]

Hey, Helen, I've got a plan.

1.  We cook a lot of good food and descend on Tim and put him in a food coma.

2.  We go out to Johnnie's and get him to make us Martinis and let us swim in his pool. 

What say you? 

[Grandma Helen]

That sounds like a great plan, Karin.