TBD on Ning

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!






I mean it...... :-)

Tags: dead thread, key holder, roflmao, tickle me please

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The scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.

Cowboy: "Well, you've been a pretty good hoss, I guess. Hardworkin'.
Not the fastest critter I ever come across, but always dependable..."

Horse: "No, stupid, not feed*back*. I said I wanted a feed*bag*.

That's what I use.....especially with Mexican food and anything chocolate.

You've got more will power than me Bob.

I've become immune to the arrows.

Just doin my job Jaylee.


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Plato:  For the greater good.

Aristotle:  To fulfill its nature on the other side.

Timothy Leary:  Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams:  Forty-two.

Nietzsche:  Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road 
gazes also across you.

Oliver North:  National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner:  Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that 
it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be 
of its own free will.

Carl Jung:  The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt 
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical 
juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences 
into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre:  In order to act in good faith and be true to 
itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle:  To actualize its potential.

Buddha:  If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell:  It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history.  An historic, unprecedented
avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement 
formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable 

Salvador Dali:  The Fish.

Darwin:  It was the logical next step after coming down from the 

Emily Dickinson:  Because it could not stop for death.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:  To die.  In the rain.

Jack Nicholson:  'Cause it (censored) wanted to.  That's the 
(censored) reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx:  You tell me.

Henry David Thoreau:  To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain:  The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Johnny Cochran:  The chicken didn't cross the road. Some 
chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved the road right 
under the chicken's feet while he was practicing his golf swing and 
thinking about his family.

Camus:  The chicken's mother had just died.  But this did not really
upset him, as any number of witnesses can attest.  In fact, he
crossed just because the sun got in his eyes.

Siskel:  I don't know why it crossed the road, but I loved it.  Thumbs

Ebert:  I disagree.  The whole thing left the audience wondering; the
chicken's crossing the road was never clearly explained and the 
chicken didn't emote very well.  It couldn't even speak English!
Thumbs down.




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